His Puppet Master

We didn’t go to court today. Since the recusal was granted, all further contact with our previous judge was canceled. Now we have to wait for February. We got hit with another helluva blizzard today and my phone was ringing off the hook with parents wondering if we were gonna let school out early. We also got a few angry parents calling because all buses going to out-of-town sports events were canceled.

“Its probably not even snowing in Grand Junction!” one mom screamed at me. “Do you know how frustrating this is?”

Um hello? You really want a bus driving your kids through a blizzard at 11,000 ft on THIS road?

Yeah, me neither. That mom was WAY more hardcore than me.

I called Rooferman and asked if he could drive LB home from visitation tonight, but he told me he didn’t have enough gas. I was pretty much expecting the following scene to occur by the time I went to pick her up.

Me: So, I’ll see you tomorrow at Mediation?

Him: No. I can’t afford it.

Me: Well that’s ok, we’ve got plenty of time before our next court date. When you’ve got the money together we’ll schedule another one.

Him: Nope. It costs way too much. Its bulls***

Me: I think it could really help us. I think its best for LB.

Him: I don’t need someone there to supervise our conversation.

Me: We can’t even talk without fighting. I’ve tried to do this many times.

Him: Well lets talk about it now!

*Note, I’m standing in their doorway, my car running, the blizzard simultaneously icing the roads, LB with her coat half on. Blondie is sitting behind Rooferman, massaging his shoulders. Her kids enter the room to see what’s going on. Blondie screams at them to get out.

Blondie: He’s sitting right here.

No s*** sherlock.

Me: I’m not having this conversation right now. Call me if you would like to meet with me and discuss this mediation thing.

Him: Ok fine.

I slam the door and leave. Rooferman follows me outside and dials his cell phone as soon as I get in my car. I answer.

Him: Ok lets talk.

Me: The roads a really icy, I will call you when I get home.

Him: Lets be adults about this, think about it (hangs up on me).

Me: (calling him back) I’m-

Him: Don’t be calling back just to get the last word in, lets be adults (hangs up on me again).

Unfortunately for him, he didn’t hear me saying that hanging up on me does not constitute “adult” behavior and I will not be calling him back . I shut off my phone and drove home to put my hungry, thirsty, diapered 2-year-old to bed.

Its official. I’ve used toddler Love & Logic tactics on my ex, and I actually feel good now! He didn’t get me mad. He didn’t make me cry. He just acted like a child and I treated him like one.

I hope he and his puppet master are very happy together.