court, custody, deadbeat dad, frustrated, single mom


During mediation, Rooferman threw a curve ball, insisting that he “never said he moved out” and I “totally misunderstood” what he was trying to say. Apparently he stayed with “a buddy” for one night and he and Blondie are still living together at their old house. This doesn’t explain why he didn’t want me to pick up LB at his house for  3 consecutive nights, but I really don’t see how I can figure this out unless I hire a freakin’ PI.

So I went to pick up the Gemini child at their house like nothing had happened, and everyone was sitting around the TV, happy as clams. Actually Rooferman sounded pretty bad. He was hacking up a lung while Blondie put LB’s coat on. She wouldn’t make eye contact with me, let alone say hi.

I then proceeded to tell him that my mom has offered to pick up our daughter from daycare on Thursday since we both will be in court. He tried to pull the ole’ switcheroo again,  but I reminded him that we have to go back to mediation on Friday.

“WHAT?” Blondie shrieked, “You went to mediation last night!”

“Uh, it was rescheduled for Friday,” Rooferman fumbled.

Then I realized I had let the cat out of the bag. I looked at Blondie’s spastic face, while she continued to yell. “The judge said you had to go once, not twice. You are NOT going back to mediation. We can’t afford it!”

“We’ll see what the judge says on Thursday,” Rooferman said meekly.

I decided that was my cue to leave.

I really wanted to tell her that it wasn’t any of her business what we did, that THEY were the ones who filed for a new judge, and therefore prolonging this whole ugly ordeal.  I wanted to tell her that lawyers cost a whole lot more than mediators, and if she wants to push this thing to trial then she should get ready to file for bankruptcy.  I wanted to tell her that maybe she shouldn’t have put herself in a situation where she and kids were financially dependent on a man who’s got too much on his plate. I really wanted to laugh and say “welcome to my past” but I didn’t want a scene from Jerry Springer to transpire in front of my daughter (and hers!).

Blondie probably thinks I’m ruining her life. Its Christmas and yeah, EVERYONE is broke.  Everyone is scared about how they are going to pay for rent, let alone presents. $100 per hour definitely hurts, but its also going to help. Its for our daughter’s welfare. Its necessary. Unfortunately for Blondie, Rooferman has been wrapped around her finger and has been focusing on her priorities until now and she’s pissed about it. She’s probably scared too. I used to be scared all the time when I was with him.

Court should be interesting tomorrow. I’m expecting a crazed blond girl to jump over the bar and claw my eyes out if I even mention continuing mediation.

I really don’t want to hurt another single mom, but I have to do whats best for my daughter. I hope she can understand that.


20 thoughts on “Blondie”

  1. *sigh* Good luck, Babe! Try to remember, like from Chicago–you don’t have to like each other; you just have to make a great show of it. Hopefully he grows to understand that too.


  2. Ditto on April’s comment.

    Although I am honestly beginning to feel sorry for women (there have been a couple since we split) who fall for my ex. I remember what is was like in the beginning, as well as what it became.


  3. You bring up anything you want in court…ANYTHING. It isn’t your fault she decided to rely on him so heavily to care for herself and her girls. The time and effort you’ve put forth to do what’s best for your daughter in incredible…it’s not your problem she doesn’t do the same. You’ve certainly taken the high road at every turn…nothing to feel badly about there in my opinion.


  4. The truth is always that the children need to be first…not Blondie, or even Rooferman, but the child…if she show’s her bo-hiney at the mediation, then so be it…I hope that for eveyrone it just goes well and all is peaceful…

    Many hugs,


  5. Dude, you’re doing the right thing. Blondie sounds like an immature assclown. She made her choice in Rooferman, ya know? Your choice needs to be with your daughter, and I wouldn’t give Blondie a second thought. It’s pretty clear she doesn’t give you one sweets. *hugs*


  6. Okay.. so this is going to seem totally random and weird, but I was a contributor to Silicon Valley Moms Blog for awhile. Now I just do my own blog, but I still read many of the Moms Blogs and I go to some of the local events occasionally. Anyway, I wanted to ask you something sensitive and I was hoping maybe you would email me. You could check out my blog if you wanted, to see that I’m a legitimate fellow blogger. I have two girls, ages 3.5 and 1.5. Anyway, I look forward to hearing from you.



  7. aww damn i hope everything works out with the mediation and im thrilled LB had fun at the polar express wish i could have been there


  8. Hey if he isnt being honest with his gfriend then thats her issue to deal with not yours!

    She would do the same to you if the roles were reversed!!


  9. Good luck tomorrow!! He’s hung himself at this point. And if she’s too dumb to realize that he’ll do the same thing to her as he did to you, that’s her problem. You have enough to deal with thank to Mr. AssHat.

    good luck again! Can’t wait to hear how it went.


  10. It’s funny I never thought I would get here but I really do feel sorry for new wife. I mean she got what she paid for (literally – he calls her his sugar mamma for a reason).

    But your job is to do the best for your daughter with what you have to work with. And you’re right – he’s the one who requested the new judge.

    Good luck in court!


  11. Maybe I’m sounding mean but Blondie didn’t consider YOUR feelings or situation now did she!

    I say KUDOS to you for standing up to her and rooferman and doing what is best for you and LB. You are a sound, strong and amazing woman!


  12. You are doing a great job of proving that you are the only adult in the situation with some maturity! Keep it up sweetie! I wonder if maybe Blondie isn’t starting to see through Rooferman. He may get kicked to the curb very soon. I just wish that he would man up and take responsibility for his actions. I would say that anyway, but I am really angry because he is hurting one of my best friends and a precious gem in the process!
    Miss you! Give LB a hug and kiss for me!


  13. I agree. Way to hold back. Then I guess that Jerry Springer scene wouldn’t have looked good. You said it. You have to do what’s best for LB. Blondie must have known he had a child when she met him.


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