Being a Pisces

“Focus on yourself.”

“Don’t care so much about what other people think.”

“Grow  a backbone.”

“Quit being a doormat.”

Dare to dream. All good advice.  I’d like to think I’ve come a long way from the barefoot & pregnant girl who refused to get dressed in the morning, cried all day long and stared longingly out the window. I’d like to think I’ve grown a backbone; gathered some self-esteem amongst the ashes of my past.  As strong as single motherhood has made me, I can’t deny my unconscious fishy needs.

I’m a Pisces. I’m  astrologically screwed. Here are some descriptions of  the unfortunate fate of my species.

Pisces people are frequently pegged as wishy-washy. They believe in people, are deeply hurt by compassionless human behavior, and have a hard time saying no. – Cafe Astrology 

Pisceans are compassionate, charitable and will quickly put the needs of others ahead of their own. The flip side to their giving natures is that oft-timid Fish are likely to be taken advantage of by less well-meaning souls – Astrology.com

Where do {Pisces} draw the line between compassion for their partner’s “weakness,” and saying, “Thank you for that blow. May I have another?”- Sasstrology.com

We live in a world where this element of one’s personality is almost considered a disability. In Modern America, where even the most tight-lipped, unforgiving, distrustful person can STILL get their identity stolen, my fellow fish and I might as well put a bullseye on our backs.

Its survival of the fittest, in business, relationships & social status. Those who aren’t guarded, who don’t have the street smarts to protect their sensitive little underbellies are going to get squashed in the process. Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly fighting against my need to bond with a person and the common sense I’ve been forced to acquire that says “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

There are some things we just can’t change about ourselves. What we are attracted to; what we desire. What tweaks our nerves; what gets our goat. Why we always order the same thing at certain restaurants. Why we crave specific scents; why we always cry during Fried Green Tomatoes. What makes us smile, and what song triggers the dance reflex.

Maybe Brian Wilson described it the best when he wrote the lyrics “I guess I just wasn’t made for these times.”

That’s not to say I DON”T want to live in these times. Even though I have a tendency to get myself into bad situations by trusting too much, I think I’ve learned enough lessons to counteract that to a certain degree.  In fact, in a world where empathy & compassion has become such a rarity, we Pisces should VALUE this about ourselves.

Of course it helps to have friends to kick us in the ass once and a while. 😉