Sick of this

Roofie called my lawyer yesterday, stating that he’s tried numerous times to meet with me but I’ve refused. Lawyerdude said “I don’t believe that, but if you two can work this out, I think that’s best for everyone.”

I feel like my teeth are being pulled out one by one, and just when I’ve managed to get over the pain, here comes Roofie with the pliers again. Unfortunately, my Laywer is right. As long as one of us keeps “trying to work it out” that’s what a Judge wants.

So via email and phone calls through my lawyer, Rooferman finally agreed to meet me “One on One” at his parent’s home sometime next week.  Since his mother considers both of us her children, I guess that’s as neutral a location as we’re going to get.  Maybe his mom will even back me up.

When his parents came to me the night before our last court date, they had lots of questions and I explained the parenting plan my lawyer and I had made up in detail. His mom asked me if the Judge was going to clarify these things at the status conference, because she thought Rooferman didn’t really understand all of it.

Maybe with her help, he will?

At least this time I’m not going into it with a shining ray of hope. In fact, my lawyer is asking me to contact witnesses for the trial already. Basically, preparing for the worst, but if at all possible, hoping for the best.

 I know many of my bloggy friends have told me not to meet with him, and to stop torturing myself. Last time I was so shocked by his request to meet with me that I started fantasizing an easy way out (I’m a Pisces, I’m good at that). This time I know what he’s trying to do. So I can show up, bring my parenting plan, listen to what he has to say, and tell him “I’m sorry you’re not willing to compromise. I will see you in court.”

Otherwise, he will tell the Judge that he tried and tried to come to an agreement with me, but I refused to meet with him. 

I’m just so sick of this.

Goodbye 2008

I finally listened to the messages. My voicemail was entirely full, so I was starting to worry about missing important calls. Rooferman called 10 times alone on Christmas, professing I was a heartless b**** for not letting me talk to his daughter on HIS day. This is from a man who has NEVER called to talk to LB EVER. All of a sudden on Christmas he turns into a martyr. He also said he’s filing contempt papers on me.

I had my meeting with Lawyerdude, who is kindly holding off on charging me a retainer up front. He says there are a few things we can do before our court date in February.

#1 I’m going to write up the Parenting Plan that I think is reasonable and bring it in to him to review.

#2 He’s going to send Rooferman a copy and ask him to come into his office if he has any objections.

#3 Lawyerdude will ask Rooferman to go back to Mediation, explaining that our new judge is going to be no different than our old judge, and he wants the MOTHER and FATHER to work this out before he has to make the final decision.

I asked him about being in contempt. He told me that it looks like there were two orders made in our case, but I only received a copy of one. He told me to go check out the file, which I did.

The only orders in our file are the judge granting the Motion to Recuse, and one from Child Support Enforcement, which consolidated our child support and custody cases into a single case number. No order for specific parenting time. No order that I’m in contempt of.

Blondie slammed the door in my face again last night, but at least LB wasn’t crying this time. The puppet master gave me a snide look and growled “We’ll be there at 8:30 am to pick her up on Thursday.” Since daycare is closed all week, Team B&R thinks they can have ALL DAY with LB instead of the usual evening visitations.

I’m not going to fight them on this. They are trying to get me angry. This situation has become so polarized, both of us think that we are all mighty good and the other party is Satan-incarnate. The only thing I can do is keep my sanity, stay grounded and be there for LB.

Rooferman still hasn’t shown his face. Since his insane message-leaving marathon, we’ve only communicated through text messages. He’s computer illiterate, so we can’t email.

So today, I’m working on my Parenting Plan, cleaning house and preparing for the New Years Eve Party I’m hosting. All my nearest and dearest will be there, and LB will open her 5th round of presents (crazy). I’m going to make Modern Single Mama’s hot buttered rum and Jiji is going to grace us with her traditional Navajo tacos.

I’m apprehensive for the new year. I wished for a kinder, gentler 2008, and I got a sadistic dominatrix instead. I’m not wishing for a gentler 2009, I’m wishing for Peace, Justice and Goddess-like Strength.

Here’s to all of you who’ve left support and comfort on my blog. Thank you for your virtual friendship. Cheers 2009!

Tarantulas & Legal Advice

It was absolutely gorgeous this weekend. Good Ole Colorado produced mid-day temps in the 70s and of course dropped below freezing at night. LB and I went on a hike (which I failed to take pictures of) but it was thoroughly enjoyed by both parties. I’m still hiking in my street shoes, which is not entirely smart, but there are so many other things to worry about besides purchasing hiking boots. In a few months I will be wearing nothing but Sorels anyway.

On the way down from the trail, I almost ate s*** trying to avoid stepping on one of these:

LB, who has definitely acquired a fear of spiders in her 27 months, started yelling “GO HOME SPIDER! GO HOME!” while her mommy tried to remain stable under 30+ pounds of backpack/toddler weight.

According to my dad’s hippie friend, North American Tarantulas migrate during this time of year, so its not uncommon to see the fuzzy legged creatures traversing our pristine trail systems. Meanwhile, every Target and Walmart is likewise filling their Halloween shelves with Exaggerated Tarantula-like spiders, which in turn creates a major bedtime freak-out for a certain 2-year-old.

I’ve been successful in assuring LB that “spiders live outside” not in the house. At least this whole encounter didn’t make me out to be a liar, but it sure scared the crap out of both of us.

My meeting with Lawyerdude was good. He actually told me I was “over-prepared”, which is better than being a clueless moron, right? He told me to cut down my 7 pages to 1 page, and talk for 7 minutes tops in front of the judge. He thought my request for Rooferman to attend Love & Logic parenting classes through the Family Center was a good idea, and that Overnights after the age of 3 was reasonable as well. Basically he told me to be clear, concise, know exactly what I’m asking for, and present a solution rather than bash the deadbeat. He, in true “I don’t give a crap about your boo-hoo past” lawyer fashion, told me to cut the BS, but what a relief to know what to expect.

I’m sick of writing long posts, so I’ll save the rest for later. Ugh, I have so much to write.

Skippy

I feel skippy today. You would have never known that 48 hours ago I resembled single mommy roadkill on the bathroom floor. It felt good to be back to work. Everyone was so chipper and happy that I was feeling better, it was kind of nice.

LB made her first appearance in the local paper this weekend. FRONT AND BACK PAGE (I guess couldn’t pick just ONE adorable picture of her). The article was mostly about Head Start looking for a new building to house their program, and they just happened to pick LB’s class for the photo-op. My boss has the newspaper clippings all over my office 🙂

Just when I feel all warm and fuzzy about my employer, I get a notification from that other job I applied for, that I’ve met the general requirements and I will receive further instructions on the mandatory test date. Its been so long since my application that I had almost forgotten about it. Honestly, since the State of Colorado ordered a hiring freeze after the stock market started plummeting, I had pretty much given up hope, but I guess I squeaked passed the cutoff.

I also returned to work yesterday and found a box stocked with goodies under my desk. I’m talking pancake mix, maple syrup, pasta, cereal, cookies, mac & cheese….the works. I’ve already been asked by one of my co-workers if I want to be the recipient of Project Merry Christmas, which is a little weird to me. I remember stuffing Christmas boxes with my mom when she worked for social services, and now I’m the one getting the boxes.

 Its still a little early for all of that, so I wondered who my mystery Santa Claus was. My very conservative, Christian co-worker (she’s either acted in or directed the Passion Play every year) told me a little mouse must have left that box for me. I was shocked and completely grateful of course, but there’s a whole other post coming up about this topic. My complex relationship with organized religion has a long and twisted past and I can’t get into it as merely a sub-topic. All I can say is “Thank You Kim!” (she has her own blog, and has probably tracked mine down by now).

I’m going to meet with Lawyerdude today. I am going to present my 7-page proposition for Sole Parental Responsibility (Physical Custody), my 3-page outline for what exactly I’m going to ask for in court, and my 2+ (still in the works) page for Sole Decision-Making Responsibility (Legal Custody). I’m also going to get the breakdown on the legal jargon contained in “Civil Rules of Procedure.” During my court observations, I’ve seen Judges throw the book at the uninformed Pro-Se peeps, telling them if they don’t know the rules, they are basically screwing themselves. Lets hope I can learn the rules in 14 days.

P.S. I’m using some of that hunk of Child Support Cash to pay for Lawyerdude’s advice. I would mention the law of Karma again, but I’m afraid she’s getting pissy with me using her name so damn much, and will come back to bite me in the ass.

Lawyerdude and delight

Court was pretty uneventful yesterday. There were a total of 3 people in the room: Me, the judge and the lawyer who has taken me under his wing. Both the Petitioner and Respondent had to call into the courtroom, so there were two people on speakerphone the entire time. Very weird. If I were a judge, that would kind of piss me off, but this judge is very smart and good at his job.

*An interesting side note: This is also the judge who sent Rooferman to prison way back when.

The case was completely different than mine, and the hearing was only 15 minutes long, so I didn’t really learn much that would apply to my case. However, Lawyerdude showed me the layout of the court, where I would stand, how the judge would address me, and how I needed to present myself. GOOD STUFF, since I am basically going into this with no court experience whatsoever.

Hopefully, I can keep going back to the courthouse as much as possible. Luckily I can just walk over there from my office, check the docket and take my lunch break during one of the scheduled hearings. I’m still waiting to see if I qualify for the fee waiver, but Lawyerdude said he was doubtful that I would get it. *Sigh*

I have an appointment with Human Services on Monday to see if I can get child care assistance. With my rent going up, gas and food going up, pretty much everything going up, its become pretty clear I’m not going to be able to afford daycare without receiving child support. Keep your fingers crossed that I get approved.

LB’s sentences keep getting longer. Its shocking when “My computer broken, Mommy. Need go shopping and get batteries” comes out of her mouth. My simple baby-like responses no longer satisfy her. I have to give full-on explanations when she has a question about something. Its scary. I’m finding myself stumbling over answers. I’m not used to my toddler putting me on the spot, demanding more complicated verbiage. Now I’m the one trying to catch up.

Its scary, but at the same time, utterly awesome and completely thrilling. I don’t get to use the word “delightful” enough in life. Thank God I have my daughter 🙂