Neptune on The Galactic Center

I recently paid a visit to my mentor, who is part of a co-housing establishment (I.E. a very organized hippie commune) and a professional astrologer. My family was originally involved with the planned community, but the price tag eventually became too high for us and we were forced to look at alternative home-buying options. It was a huge disappointment to my hippie family. Still, despite never living there, entering the Co-housing property always feels like coming home to me: a home I had in some alternate reality.

As we sat and talked about my chart and my aspirations as an astrologer, she shared some interesting information with me.

“Did you know that your Neptune is exactly at the Galactic Center?”

“What’s the Galactic Center?”

On top of the literal definition, Astrologers also consider the Galactic Center (roughly 26° Sagittarius) to be an extremely sensitive and powerful point in the zodiac. It’s where your truth lies, where you’re exposed to the purest, more cosmic forces in the universe. It’s where your nuclear reactor is, your magnetic core, where the all the atoms of your life come together in a particle accelerator and KABOOM explode into pure energy.

Neptune was at the GC during a few months in 1982, 1983 & 1984, so obviously I’m not the only one who has this aspect in their charts, but my mentor looked at my Pisces Sun, 12th house Moon and asked if I ever “felt” things were going to happen. I nodded, a bit in shock. You don’t really talk about these things. Especially when you have so much Saturn (doubt) and 6th house (mundane) action in your chart.

“I mean, I don’t spend much time on it.”

“Well you should. You should really focus on developing this connection. I mean it’s right there in your chart. EXACT!”

I used to think my mom was psychic. She had an uncanny way of knowing things before I told her (including my pregnancy), and when confronted by her, lies would dry up in my throat before I could even utter them. I was so convinced that my mom knew everything that was going on that I waited until I was 1000 miles away at college to experience anything she wouldn’t approve of. Maybe that’s just how all moms are, you can’t fool them. You came from them, so of course they know everything about you. Or maybe, it’s something else.

Neptune is the planet of dreams. Its the mystical ocean of secrets waiting to be tapped. Its the uncharted depths of our souls; the mysterious, dangerous, unfathomable world of our intuition and psyche. It’s art and music and film and imagination. It’s creativity and compassion. It’s where you cross the desert only to find that your destination has been a mirage. It’s delusion and drugs and escapism.

Sagittarius is the spacesuit you put on as you ready to enter orbit. He is Star Lord from Gaurdians of the Galaxy. She is Galadriel from Lord of the Rings. Sag is a soul-searching, higher-learning, time-traveling badass, eager to tap into the next mind-blowing party favor. Add Neptune to that mix, and things get straight-up Orbital.   Oddly enough, I think of my Neptune in Sagittarius generation as the “Rave” generation: Using music as a spiritual tool to immerse ourselves in sensory stimuli and float away into the ether.

Ask anyone who knows me, and they will tell you I have always said “going to a concert was like going to church for me”. Must be Neptune on the GC speaking.

So if I’m supposed to tap into my “connectedness”/awareness/inner voice/intuition/ psychic ability/galactic center..whatever you may call it.. I guess I better put on some music and get to meditating???!!

You learn something new everyday..

The gullible Empath

I’ve written about this before (pre-Saturn Return, in 2009): I’m a Pisces, blah blah, we are sensitive and easily led astray. Now I’ve matured a bit- I’ll be 35 on Sunday..OMG! Is 35 too old to say “OMG”? Now that I’ve reached my ripe soon to-be-middle age, I know that this fish DOES have a backbone somewhere underneath those scales. We are survivors despite our sensitivities, and depending on the rest of our planetary blueprint, we can be tough as nails and driven to succeed (That’s my Capricorn Venus talking 😉 ).

But deep down we are Empaths. We feel those good good good good vibrations as well as the bad. I just got back from an astrology conference where all the meeting rooms were named after elements: fire, water, earth air and aether.. yes ETHER.

“According to ancient and medieval science, aether (Greek: αἰθήρ aithēr[1]), also spelled æther or ether, also called quintessence, is the material that fills the region of the universe above the terrestrial sphere.[2]”– Wikipedia.com

How appropriate, I thought, since half the time I feel like I’m floating through the ether, totally unnoticeable to the masses. Oddly enough, people kept bumping into me, tripping over me, or flat out looking through me when I waved to them throughout the conference. Am I invisible?? Maybe I’m just part of the Quintessence.. I like that.

As a child I was quiet, often overlooked, always waiting with wide-eyed expectation. I often felt pangs of inspiration, the urge to create, I cringed at harsh words, cried at sad songs, but mostly felt like I was some kind of human filter: constantly absorbing the world around me, whether I liked it or not.

I soon realized this sense of “openness” about me became known as “gullible” by my peers. I had no walls, no boundaries and very little ability to say no. In other words: easy prey in the childhood jungle. It was a game of coaxing and belittling, luring and humiliating, enticing and tricking, advancing and retreating, until I became so afraid to believe in anything, that I stopped doing it all together. I denied my basic instinct to be empathic at all. How could I continue, when everything was a trap?

In college, my worst grade was in was Public Speaking. I remember distinctly feeling an immediate distrust of my audience; an abhorrence to expose myself, as if I was already being judged before the words could even leave my mouth. Having felt invisible most my life, why would anyone listen to what I had to say? How could they truly hear me?

Where I once was a sponge, I now was a stone; ready to be thrown, lest I be thrown at first. This may seem against the empathic way, but truly I was only acting as others had acted towards me, so in away I was absorbing their way of life.In my eyes there was no middle ground. I could be me, or I could be them. I could be soft, vulnerable and foolish or tough, strong and smart.

After years of absorbing many characters around me, and leading numerous “lifestyles” where I took on any role that seemed most beneficial to the particular situation I was in (oddly enough usually someone else benefited ha!), I had a bit of an identity crisis (Hello Saturn Return) and was forced to drag my true self out of the rock it had been hiding in. on top of being a Pisces, I have a Stellium in Libra/6th house, which explains my desire towards “the other”: giving to another, serving another, or (in this case) being another person.

So how to be an Empath in a world that values resistance to sensitivity? Shutting yourself off to feelings doesn’t work. You still absorb them, except they’re shit-stained in judgment, bitterness and resentment. Anytime you don’t get to be your authentic self, your soul is saying What the fuck, man?!! Unfortunately you have to be yourself, even if the world is in direct conflict with that. You have to learn, love, work, and exist in a way that’s right for you. Even if the world punishes you for it. Even if people take advantage of your openness. Even if being an Empath is painful, it’s better than pretending you’re someone else. You cannot receive joy if you’re not yourself. That joy belongs to someone else- you can’t take credit for it. Any good things that happen to you while you’re fronting as the cool, tough, IDGAF non-Empath are meaningless if they can’t permeate your soul.

The world may not love you for who you are, but you still have to love yourself. And that includes setting boundaries, disconnecting, and caring for your mind, body and spirit when you feel overwhelmed with life. Protecting yourself doesn’t mean shutting down, judging or distrusting everyone around you. It means finding a balance of openness, where other people’s problems, emotions, experience and words don’t become your own. Be aware, be smart and be open to the world, and you’ll reap the benefits of every joyful gift you receive.

Happy Birthday to all my Pisces people! I hope you give your inner Empath a big piece of cake 😉

Mega Transit- Heightened Awareness

I’ve been trying to put my thoughts together on the epic week I had, starting with the full moon last Wednesday.  I don’t know if epiphany is the right word, or if you even believe in those (it made me think of the below movie..haha).

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I experienced sudden awareness, feeling “woke”, a heightened sensitivity, extreme receptiveness on an issue that was brought to my attention in one physical, mental and spiritual moment. As crazy as it sounds, I felt like I was receiving a message. The energies were that strong.

It began with a cake pop (lol).

Continue reading “Mega Transit- Heightened Awareness”

Old Soul

Happy 2017! As I scroll through Facebook, I see my friends overcome by a passionate determination NOT to repeat 2016; to put that hellish year behind them, to give the previous 12 months the proverbial FINGER. I want to get on the FU train as well, but unfortunately I’m “blessed” by the astrological knowledge that we’re not out of the woods yet. The major cosmic consensus is that 2017 is going to be 2016: Part 2. F.O.L, right?

My astrology group meets tomorrow and we’re going to have a 2017 round table. I’m excited to discuss the planetary movements, and expand my skills and knowledge of the upcoming transits. I’m also psyched to tell my group that I’ve been awarded the 2017 AFAN scholarship, to attend the NCGR astrology conference in Baltimore. Woo hoo! Hopefully there will be someone else attending and we can maybe split the cost of the hotel. I mean, so what if I’m 34 and they are all in their 50s and 60s? Don’t they know that deep down I’m practically ancient?

Since moving to Albuquerque almost 2 years ago (wow), I’ve been struggling to connect. There seems to be an odd gap in my peers: Either straight out of college or nearing retirement. Where are all the 30 somethings? Oh right, blissfully married with kids and buying houses. They aren’t looking to “make new friends”.  Honestly, until I branched out into looking at astrology meet-ups, I was pretty isolated in couplehood and motherhood as well.

I was working on a chart one day and I heard an exclamation from behind my desk.

“I love astrology! You do natal charts?”

I looked up to see snow white hair cascading down from a lined face. The woman was easily my mother’s age. Even so, it’s always exciting to find someone else who is interested in the same fringe topic as you, and we chatted for a while about the planets and our past loves (damn those Scorpios!). So I had made a friend. A friend twice my age, but EFF it.

It’s a good thing I’m an old soul, cuz I can’t wait to mingle among the silver-haired crowd at the conference in February. Maybe it’s not just friends I should be looking for at this point, it’s mentoring, wisdom, networking and guidance.  I hope I don’t look like too much of a newb.  And whatever 2017’s got in store for me, I’m ready to bring it too.

Energies

My sister has a PhD in Geology. She also got married last weekend. Let’s just say she’s the younger, smarter, more successful daughter 😉 I love my sister,  but we are exact opposites. She’s tall, blonde, gay and a scientist. I’m short, brunette, straight and an artist. She’s analytical, I’m intuitive. She trusts facts, I trust feelings. Even on the Astrological wheel we are opposites (Pisces/Virgo)..

Speaking of Astrology, I guess I should finally out myself as a believer and a student. I respect it as an ancient study, and it’s as close to organized religion as I am willing to get.  I know how lame that sounds… “believer” is someone who joins cults and watches televangelism. Astrology gets a bad rap: it’s up for public mockery in our society. Psychics, mystics, gypsies, fortune tellers, mediums (remember Miss Cleo?) are often touted as crazies, sensationalists, and even worse: money-hungry frauds who prey on the vulnerable and ignorant. The sun-sign columns you read in newspapers and pop culture magazines are toilet fodder, time killers, titular pieces of entertainment, nothing to be taken seriously.

So why? I am college-educated. I know money doesn’t grow on trees. I’ve worked hard for what I have, and I pride myself on being smart, resourceful and self-sacrificing above all my other attributes.  The planets don’t pay the bills, I DO.

Yet.. I’ve always had an innate sense of just how small I am; how minute a human being is in the scope of the universe. I know there are things beyond my control. I’ve witnessed instances of the inexplicable. I’ve been the recipient of incredibly good luck.

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Twisted Juniper Tree (Sedona, AZ)

There are things that have not yet been explained by science, and some, like the gravitational pull of planets, suns and moons.. that have. Just like the tides, there are things that effect humans on a molecular level.. dare I say it, energetic level.

My sister and I were visiting our Aunt in Sedona, AZ this weekend. If you haven’t been there, it’s a hot spot for psychics, astrologers; anyone who is into “New Age” living. The reason? Supposedly the red rock formations that encircle the valley are home to Vortexes of Energy. According to local believers, you can see evidence of the energy in the warped growth of nearby juniper trees. I’m pretty sure any biologist will disagree with this theory, citing a number of scientific reasons for the shape of the trees. But I think there is something to the “energies” of the vortexes.

Continue reading “Energies”

How much of a hippie are you?

The 21-year-old stud texted me for an hour last night. What a trip he is. He’s like a walking, talking Red State. I almost forgot what it’s like to be barely legal, full of conviction and self-righteousness. Like you’re ready to stare down any fool that gets in your way, demanding authority, simply because you’re the hottest thing on the block.

On Facebook, I was notified that he recently became a fan of “beer,” “boobs” and “beef”. Yep. That about sums him up. Its like drinking a shot of Stetson when he’s around, even through the phone. If I was a out-of-control 21-year-old filly like I used to be, this would have been too much testosterone for me to handle.

Things are different now. He can’t womanize me if I manize him first.

Actual Text exchange from last night:

  • So you basically play every sport except soccer and tennis.
  • Yeah, but those aren’t real sports.
  • Somehow I knew you would say that.
  • Well that’s how I was raised.
  • You see honey, that’s why it can never work out between a redneck and a hippie.
  • I’m sorry, I just really hate hippies.
  • Ok Cartman.
  • How much of a hippie are you?

“How much of a hippie are you?”How does one answer that question. I almost dropped my phone and fell off the Wii Fit laughing.

I can’t wait till we meet again. I should get my tarot cards out and give him a reading. Stroke his palm and talk about astrological convergence. Go through every page of the Kama Sutra and gush about meditative tantra. I’m going to weave flowers into his Cowboy hat. He’ll be so in love with hippie-dom he won’t know what do with himself.

Ok, so at least its a good fantasy. Or maybe I’m just playing with redneck fire.

Clarity stings.

Here’s Annie Ortelee’s astrological horoscope for today:

Friday is a great day for getting things done and out the door. Some of the volatility of the past few days has abated and Venus wants to dispel or discharge the excess energy. She may be feeling a bit tuckered out from all the energy moving through her the past few days. Her trine to Neptune feeds her a bit of fuel and her last aspect to Mars ensures that whatever has happened since 2:46 pm EDT Wednesday is all for the greater evolution and good for all. Might sting a bit but aren’t you clearer? Probably hurt but NOW you know what you want to do. Maybe didn’t want to but now you get it.

Pretty much sums up my week in a nutshell. What did you learn this week that wasn’t exactly the most pleasant experience?

P.S. I did go to my lawyer’s office at noon just in case. I told him what had happened and he shook his head.

“Pathetic. He’s a grown man and he can’t even have a civilized conversation.”

….Or spell the word P-E-T-I-T-I-O-N.