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Adjusting

July 13, 2010

Of course I find a OBGYN before I find a primary care doctor in my new hood. Priorities people! Dentist & Ped for kiddo. Girly bits doc for me! New insurance means no more $10 co-pay for scripts, which means I’m too broke to afford the current birth control I’m on. Time to switch pills once again. Time to stand in line with all the other po’ folk for the $4 generics at Walmart. Time to re-adjust to new hormones again. Awesome.

“Are you single?” asked my new doc.

“Yes.” I sighed.

“Are you sexually active?”

“Yes.”

*Insert look of death from White Coat. Really? The look that says I should just go to Planned Parenthood with the rest of the whores.

“Are you sure you don’t want an STD test?”

“My insurance doesn’t cover that as preventative care.”

“We’ll call you in a week with the pap results.”

“Awesome.”

But I’m adjusting. I’m settling. I’m exploring. I’m feeling a sense of peace here, away from my old life. A cozy nook where I can start to get my feet wet. At night I stare out my window at the glow of Denver in the distance. I fantasize about the days when I used to stare at the premiere spotlights streaking the haze over the Hollywood Hills.

Then I go write for a while. Lay in bed, thinking about court dates and 3 hour drives to the middle of nowhere. Hot, naked bodies with stubble on the chin.  But thoughts of sex have become tainted with fear, as I worry about my own kid.  I hear sirens in the distance, and small feet entering my room. LB eventually crawls into bed with me at about 4 am. 2 hours later my alarm goes off and I think it’s only 5 am. I have another hour to sleep.

SO WRONG. But I’m adjusting.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 14, 2010 9:02 pm

    Wow girl. Lots to process there. But you’ll be fine. You’re a fighter.

    Big hugs.

    Oh and by the way, is it Denver where you are? I have a friend there that you would love.

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  2. July 14, 2010 11:19 pm

    Hey, I think you may be projecting onto your OBGYN. I’ve only had really supportive, pro-health women’s doctors here in this area; are you sure you aren’t being unfair? If you *aren’t* being unfair, maybe you *should* go to Planned Parenthood. They are AWESOME people, sex-positive and pro-women. So… yeah.

    Like

  3. July 23, 2010 1:08 pm

    I hate doctors sometimes. Like when I visited Shiloh’s doctor when pregnant. He got all weird because usually there is “a mom and a dad” at the appointments. But maybe I made it worse than it was. I don’t know…

    I love my gyno. If I ever move (which I would love to do right now), I will drive back just to go to her. I’m picky I guess. But I’m comfortable with her.

    Like

  4. July 24, 2010 11:18 pm

    I fail to understand why medical aids dont cover preventitive meds – surely its cheaper than covering a pregnancy and birth?

    Glad you guys are settled in nicely!

    Like

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