Of course I find a OBGYN before I find a primary care doctor in my new hood. Priorities people! Dentist & Ped for kiddo. Girly bits doc for me! New insurance means no more $10 co-pay for scripts, which means I’m too broke to afford the current birth control I’m on. Time to switch pills once again. Time to stand in line with all the other po’ folk for the $4 generics at Walmart. Time to re-adjust to new hormones again. Awesome.
“Are you single?” asked my new doc.
“Yes.” I sighed.
“Are you sexually active?”
*Insert look of death from White Coat. Really? The look that says I should just go to Planned Parenthood with the rest of the whores.
“Are you sure you don’t want an STD test?”
“My insurance doesn’t cover that as preventative care.”
“We’ll call you in a week with the pap results.”
But I’m adjusting. I’m settling. I’m exploring. I’m feeling a sense of peace here, away from my old life. A cozy nook where I can start to get my feet wet. At night I stare out my window at the glow of Denver in the distance. I fantasize about the days when I used to stare at the premiere spotlights streaking the haze over the Hollywood Hills.
Then I go write for a while. Lay in bed, thinking about court dates and 3 hour drives to the middle of nowhere. Hot, naked bodies with stubble on the chin. But thoughts of sex have become tainted with fear, as I worry about my own kid. I hear sirens in the distance, and small feet entering my room. LB eventually crawls into bed with me at about 4 am. 2 hours later my alarm goes off and I think it’s only 5 am. I have another hour to sleep.
SO WRONG. But I’m adjusting.