Back from the beautiful, yet strange little tourist town of Sedona, AZ. People of sorts flock to this place, half of them to golf, hike and get married under the red rocks, half of them to experience metaphysical bliss. This area of the high desert is actually known for its location as a “vortex” of spiritual energy (totally NOT making this up).
You would think that my little Piscean soul would revel in the numerous crystal, new age, psychic and astrology shops that fill up this place, but oddly enough, I’ve had what I can only describe as an allergic reaction to Sedona.
This was my post from last year on this day. We had just returned from the Vortex of Sedona, and I had spent the entire trip sneezing and popping Benadryl. I was scared, stressed, miserable, and had NO clue what my future would look like. All I knew was my life consisted of threatening phone calls, court dates & stomach wrenching exchanges with Roofie.
I am happy to say that things in the custody world have reached a temporary state of peace. I don’t feel anxiety anymore. I can actually talk about Rooferman in a way that doesn’t involve a physical reaction. However, this year’s stay in Redrock land produced eerily similar results. I was a sneezing, eye-rubbing, tissue blowing mess for the entire time.
I know I’ve been sick. I know I could chalk it up to leftover girl issues from these last two weeks. Or I could let my hippie mind wander to the energy vortex that seems to keep affecting me every time I’m within city limits.
My mom, sister & lady friend (who is also a Scorpio, heh heh), myself and LB went on a hike to one of the “hot spots” of Sedona Vortexes. I sneezed and hacked my way to the top, along with a few Japanese, French and German tourists, hoping that maybe the energy would cure me of my freaky reaction.
No such luck. I continued to sneeze red dust every 30 seconds for the remainder of the trip. My eyes were watering. My nose was so raw, I felt rolling it into sushi. My skin resembled whitey rice paper. Eff these BS Hippie Vortexes, I thought. I hate Sedona, and obviously it hates me.
We drove the 6 hours back to Colorado, and the further we got from hell hole Sedona, the better I felt. I stopped sneezing. My eyes didn’t need to be squeegeed every 2 seconds. My nose attempted to resurrect itself from the dead. My symptoms haven’t disappeared, but I predict I will feel twice as good tomorrow morning.
Maybe I’m allergic to Cactus. Maybe I caught a 3 day cold. Or maybe instead of “curing” me, this Vortex energy simply triggered a physical reaction to the emotional shitstorm that’s going on inside me. Last year it was anxiety, stress and fear. This year its the sadness and guilt and deflation I felt after my doctor’s visit. The hopelessness and loneliness I was feeling about ever finding someone.
I know all of you who told me from the start that this FWB wasn’t a good idea are saying “no shit Sherlock”, but I think I needed to go through this process to figure out what I need, and want for myself. Sad, since I have so many wise friends who are constantly giving me good advice. Sad, considering I need to literally have my girl parts screaming at me to stop, and something as ludicrous as a “Vortex” violently tweaking my sinuses to get the hint already.
But maybe that’s just me. Maybe I just have to feel it to believe it.
That’s the most sense I can make right now.
The man who falls for me….is getting in wayyy over his head.