single mom

Baby Roofie

I wrapped my daughter in a hug asI picked her up from Roofie’s house on Sunday. Tucked safely into the backseat of our snazzy new Single Mom & daughter mobile, my kidletlooked at me with the giant blue-grey eyes she inherited from me, and said:

“Blondie has a baby in her tummy. She’s pregnant.”

My jaw melted to my lap. I don’t think LB has ever seen that expression on her mom’s face before. I didn’t know what to say other than…”Oh, uh really? I didn’t know that.”

Hearing my 3 year-old say the word “pregnant” kind of sent me into the twilight zone. I was silent all the way home, trying to wrap my head around what I had just heard. Truth and reality are malleable things to a pre-schooler, but I was pretty sure this wasn’t a figure of LB’s imagination. Her words were so direct. So clear. So intent on seeing my reaction.

I’ve known this was coming for a long time. I knew that Rooferman wasn’t going to fish very long after being with me.  He was going to find the next person who would support him and settle into his new life as soon as possible. He did it with me, so why wouldn’t he continue his tactic?

I’ve thought Blondie was pregnant before, and maybe she was.  Over a year ago, Rooferman told me that Blondie had some medical issue and he was going to cancel his visitation. This was very soon after he had started dating her, and the wound of abandonment was still painfully fresh. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that she must be pregnant, and I proceeded to down my misery with a bottle of tequila and a webcam.

I haven’t cried this time. Maybe its too early. Maybe I just don’t care anymore. Maybe I feel more pity than I do sadness. Maybe I’m just too incredulous that Roofie would add a 4th kid to their situation when they can’t even afford the 3 they have. Maybe I’m become just another jaded single mom. Maybe I’m wondering if this has presented me with an opportunity to get away from their dysfunctional life, or if  its just going to get worse from here. Maybe they will be so involved with Roofie Jr, that they won’t give a s*** if I move to Denver, or maybe the 9-headed Blondie Hydra will come out with a vengeance if the word “custody” is brought up.

The idea of the Roofie Brady Bunch has just slapped me in the face of how single I am; how exactly opposite my life is compared to theirs right now; how partner-less my existence is; and how much more I want to get away from this place. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of being Blondie right now makes me want to gag. But if those two broken people can find each other, why can’t I?




21 thoughts on “Baby Roofie”

  1. My jaw hit the floor when I saw this title in my reader.

    I can completely relate to what you are feeling in regards to feeling the singleness. My ex took the other woman with him to visit his hometown, a trip we took as a family two years ago, and even though I don’t want to be in a relationship with my ex, it put my singleness into perspective. I wonder why they have each other and why I don’t have anyone.

    I’m still single because I’m not settling. I refuse to settle for an unhealthy relationship. I’m waiting for a healthy, happy and complete relationship with someone who respects me. You are single because you want more. You aren’t settling, and that means that at times it can get really lonely. I’d personally rather live in a cardboard box than be with my ex again, but I still get lonely sometimes and really wish that I had a partner.

    I’m sorry you had to find out the news from your daughter like that.



  2. After reading Erin’s comment, I’m totally adding her to my Reader.

    I know I would definitely be pissed if X had another kid with anyone else. Not so much because I was jealous but because he SO shouldn’t be a father to anyone.

    Move, move as fast as you can!


  3. If being a single mom (for now) is the price you have to pay just to NOT be with Rooferman…then I say SOLD!

    Just like PP have said…you are single because you don’t want to settle. You deserve more then just your average run of the mill ass-hole and you know it. Mr. Perfect will come along soon enough and then you’ll see why you waited so long.

    I feel sorry for blondie. You should, too. After all, you know what she has to look forward to. You know what she’s going through. You can only imagine what kind of self esteem and self respect issues she must have if she thinks that rooferman is the best she can do. She has put herself at the bottom of the totem pole and frankly that’s probably where she’ll stay for the rest of her days. What a sad, sad life. In fact, I would send her sympathy card in the mail. “Heard you were pregnant. I’m so sorry.” Anonymously of course.

    I remember when my daughter saw her father for the first time in 3 years. I took her over to his grandmothers house for him to meet us. He was 2 hours late. He also brought his new girlfriend with him (who has since dumped him and actually got married not to long ago to a decent guy.) The whole time we were there, she hung on his arm. She sat next to him with her arm tightly around his. She put her hand on his leg and rubbed his shoulder. She kissed him every time she got up to do something. I wanted to gag! I thought to myself. How could you honestly be treating him so nicely? I know what you’ve got and it’s not much! I’ve had it and I don’t want it. Trust me, what you are so protective and lovey over is a piece of shyt and not worth any woman’s time and energy. It was hilarious. She honestly thought that she had something special! When I got home I had to call my mom and tell her. It was the funniest thing ever.

    Maybe you should look at it the same way…as one big funny joke.

    Sorry I’ve rambled (it’s happening more and more these days) I pray that you find your special someone soon. I know what it’s like to be a single mom. However, I didn’t have near the luxuries you do. You have done so well for yourself and by yourself and I applaud you for it. You have shown that you don’t NEED a man to make your life complete, you just WANT one. And we all know that it’s a different story if we need things then if we just want them.


  4. Ick. My ex and his GF had a baby 13 months after my son was born. Double ick. It loks like both of them, mixed together. Triple ick.


  5. My jaw hit the floor when I read the title of this post.



    I can’t begin to imagine how YOU’RE feeling.

    Just know that you’re holding out for the best of the best, and that’s definitely what’s in store for you. Whether it’s in Durango or Denver or Madagascar.


  6. I know this is in my future too. In fact, like you – I was suspicious of a “serious” medical procedure his new girlfriend had about 8 months ago.

    I feel the punch in the gut and it hasn’t even happened yet for real for me.

    You’re processing the feelings though and that is good. I know what you mean about it reminding you of your singleness. And yeah – it can be said “you don’t want to be her anyway”. And that is true. I know the broken mess that I once called a husband. On the other hand, it does hurt. To know that my ex would not/could not pull it together for us. Yet he takes care of the skank and her three daughters. I know it isn’t perfect and at the end of the day I know that he treats them as bad as he did us. And I know that he is with them because they WILL put up with his shit and I wouldn’t anymore. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. So I am sorry.
    I’ve always wanted more children – and so when my ex goes on to have children with someone else – it will be difficult. Especially because he will likely throw out the “this is the only sibling that Sadie will ever have”.

    Hang in there. My only solace with these thoughts is thinking that my ex totally bailed when the baby came because it was TOO hard. And he’ll do the same again.


  7. Wow.

    I remember when the ex and I split and I was SO very angry because I had just given birth myself.

    I told him that I thought he should go get a vasectomy so that my kids wouldn’t be hurt by his pro-creating with someone other than their momma.


    Girl, hang in there. Maybe it is a process of you moving forward. Maybe this is just another of those “final straws” that lets you know that you can move onward and upward.



  8. Wow. I’m shocked and yet… not. I’m not surprised this happened, but it’s still way crazy. I can’t imagine how I would feel in this situation, since it isn’t something I’ve had to face. (One good thing about my ex being in prison.)

    I’m going to say “ditto” to everything Erin said. She said it better than I can.

    I can understand about feeling more single because of it though. I recently found that a guy that everyone was trying to hook me up with (remember Alan?) is getting married in December. To a girl he met three weeks ago. Yeah. And I found him attractive, but there weren’t any deep feelings there. But it still makes me feel more single and like there is one less guy left.


  9. There’s most likely an element of sadness you are feeling for LB. Her father will have a biological child and that child will be raised in a home with both bio parents…something your daughter doesn’t have.

    Whenever I think about having another child, I’m sad that The Mook won’t have a full bio sibling.

    Indulge in that tequila. Call it all part of the mourning process.


    1. Bad Mummy – don’t be too hard on the half-bio thought. My big sis was half mine, but that made no difference to me. We were sisters and were not less of sisters just because our fathers were different.

      My BD has one other son in addition to mine. He treats his other BM about as well as he treats me as far as stepping up and being a father. The only advantage she has over me is that he will actually keep in contact with her and see their kid occasinally. Last time I tried to talk to him he refused now I’m just waiting to see if hes changed and wants to meet our son.

      I’d be pissed if he made another baby. Somewhat out of jealous if he treated that baby and it’s mom better.


      1. @NewSingleMama I’ve got 3 half-sisters as well, but we share a dad, not a mum. Which means they all grew up being told my mum (their step-mum) is evil. I fear that Baby Roofie will be passing that message onto LB.


  10. Why oh why can’t there be court ordered sterilization in this country? I can think of so many benefits.

    Also, tempting as it may be, moving away won’t heal your pain. That baggage travels really easy. Find your happiness within and happiness from outside has an amazing way of finding you. Of course working to catch it once it shows up doesn’t hurt =0)


  11. If this gives you more reason to move here then I say YAY!

    Yes, the situation sssssucks and it sucks even more that you heard it from your daughter. I also know we can’t help but have those thoughts of why are we alone and the (less deserving) are not. But when I think of my exes I know they are no prize and I’m better off alone than with either of them. What they have with someone else now is superficial and created from lies and manipulation. You and I want and will wait for the real thing – and it is worth waiting for but also harder to find.


  12. Yeah that is pretty messed up! I think they should have at least been the ones to tell you though. Hang in there hope you can work on putting it more in perspective although it will take some time.


  13. I hear your pain and frustration re: why your ex found someone and you haven’t.

    My observations: most of my single mom friends who left crazy/narcissistic/abusive/fill-in-the-blank exes are still single and their exes are not. Know what that means? The exes’ NEW girlies are suffering what we once did. And we wised up. BIG TIME. And we don’t want to put up with a whoooooooooooooooole lot of shite that we used to.

    And that? While lonely? Is a very good thing.


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