single mom


  • What would my daughter’s & my life be like in a bigger city?
  • What are my chances of  meeting a man in a town where I know 50% of the population and the rest are considered “transient” due to Durango being a ski/tourist/2nd & 3rd homeowner town?
  • What would it be like to be a single mom without LB’s grandparents, my 3 best friends, and a town I know like the back of my hand?
  • What would it be like to work in the industry I actually went to school for?
  • What would a Front Range winter be like?
  • Would I really quit the job I worked so hard to get AND  gives me financial security?
  • How long will I last at a job that is mind-numbingly boring and soul-crushingly dull?
  • How would moving my daughter away from both sets of grandparents affect her?
  • Do I really want to move across the entire state of Colorado for “selfish” reasons (ie..personal, career, relationship, “me” reasons)?
  • Would being 400 miles away from Roofie make life easier or harder?
  • Would I miss out on my 3 best Leo friends’ marriages, kids, lives?
  • Could I be a part of a different/bigger community of friends, bloggers, co-workers and family?
  • If Colorado is one of the best states to meet men , why aren’t I taking advantage of that by moving to a bigger pond? What if my future husband is waiting for me in Denver? (ok, silly thought).
  • How would moving my daughter away from both sets of grandparents affect THEM?
  • Why would I move my daughter away from a school district I’m familiar and have connections with?
  • Just thinking about the inevitable legal battle that would ensue makes me want to shoot myself.
  • But….would it be worth it?

14 thoughts on “Thoughts”

  1. Being one of the Leo BFFs…I of course don’t want you to go, but I also want you to be happy and do what you need to do too. You know we’ll support you in your decision. Just take it one step at a time and make sure it’s what you really want.


  2. The only person who can answer those questions is you.

    From my own personal experience I can say that I have always raised my kids as a single mom with no extended family remotely near by and although it can be tough at times it’s not impossible. And with my family I actually prefer it.

    Also, Im fishing in the bigger pond of men but all I’m finding is frogs. More men, more frogs and finding the good ones seems to be as difficult as finding a neadle in a haystack – even in Denver.

    Being further away from Ex and DBD would be wonderful but not gonna happen unless they move.

    I’ll be here for you anytime you want to visit and entertain some city thoughts though!


  3. Ditto to what MindyMom said. Denver’s fish are no better.
    And I too am here in the city if you choose to come this direction. I’ll take you to get a beer.


  4. Oh, well, one more thing I am in no way equipped to give advice on. Because I have struggled with the same thoughts before, and there are pros and cons to either scenario. Can I just send up good thoughts for you instead?


  5. Wow — that’s a lot to think about.

    I’ve been going through some similar thoughts as I’m nearing graduation, but since Anna’s dad isn’t physically around at all, I can sort of take him out of the equation.

    I’m choosing to move (when/if the opportunity arises), but I’m also in a different situation. It’s a really tough decision, though, and I definitely wish you the best of luck as you try to navigate all these factors!


  6. If you’re going to move, you have to move here. And I’m sure that you’ll totally listen to me on this 🙂

    Sometimes, we need to take this step back and look at where we are and where we want to be. I hope that you don’t need to make any rushed decisions, but have the chance to be very sure – knowing all the pros and cons and still being sure will mean that you won’t regret it no matter what happens next.


  7. Man that’s intense.

    I will say, as far as bigger pond goes, I found lots of frogs up here in Boulder, and the fish I finally wound up with was originally from the Durango pond, so… More does not necessarily equal better. HOWEVER, you may have a better chance at finding someone with similar interests up this way. More diverse population and all.

    I will also say, it’s hard for ME to be this far from my family, and I don’t have kids yet. I miss them tons, and it gets harder to say goodbye every time I go down for a visit. But the nice thing about moving across the state rather than say, across the country, is that you ARE still within relatively easy visiting distance.

    You also won’t be moving up to an area totally devoid of support system – remember, you have friends up here, too. Moreover, there’re a few of us contemplating kids some time in the fairly near future, and it’d be nice to have a pro around to show us all the ropes. 😉

    As far as being selfish… YOU being happy is important for LB’s well-being, too. So the real question is, will you be happy if you stay in Durango? Are you willing to live with wondering what would have happened if you’d made the move? It’ll be easier on her to move now than it will be a few years from now, when she’s made even firmer ties. And after all, if you move to the big city and decide it’s not for you, you can always move back, secure in the knowledge that you gave it a shot and that Durango really is the right place for you and LB. I bopped around a TON as a young kid, and came out no worse the wear. My parents settled down by the time I hit middle school, which is when all of the “all-important” teenage girl stuff/drama starts anyway. ^^

    Anyway. Not being a parent I can’t even imagine what a tough decision this must be, though I will say selfishly that it would be fun to have you around up this way. 😉


  8. Hmmmmmm….those are some really immense thoughts…and some really tough questions. Unfortunatley, only you can answer them…and some of them you really don’t know until you try them out. I can say that life should be an adventure (whether a safer one or a more daring one), and sometimes you’ll fail and sometimes you’ll gloriously succeed…but either way, if those thoughts are consistant and strong maybe they are genuinely worth considering….one step at a time luv.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s