4th of July Weekend consisted of major meet-ups, convergence of the past, and rekindling of old flames. Here’s the short breakdown:
Friday: One of the only holidays we State Employees get to celebrate.
Daytime activities: LB and I spent the day hiking with Godmother Jiji, had lunch at the best pizza joint in Durango, cruised around on the free trolley & played with a little french girl who’s mom kept yelling “Dee-AHN” whenever my child lead her to the muddy creek bank. Remembered the sunscreen for the child, but forgot to apply to my own skin.
Nighttime activities: Rooferman forgot about his Friday night responsibilities, but I called and reminded him. Dropped LB off at the house he and Blondie have moved into, and on the way out of the meth-laden subdivision, saw him behind the wheel of Blondie’s car.
Shoulda figured he would drive without a license. Shoulda called the cops on him.
After a quick visit with Gayboy, Jiji and her hubby invited me to the freshest salad bar in town, to celebrate the return of their little brother from his trip to Africa. I sat like a kid at Christmas, listening to his stories about Uganda; the food, the language, the people, the insanity of their everyday lives. I was so enraptured with the tale, I conveniently bit through a crouton and into my tongue.
Late Night Activities:Met Former Bestie from my post-college/ pre-baby days for a martini and caught up on life. Met two other pre-baby friends who had driven from the front range, and convened at my pad for exquisite R &R. Yes, I got some. The best kind. Yummy.
Saturday: Independence Day
Daytime activities: Met up with old high school friend, (I guess I should actually start giving them pseudonyms) Capricorn Man & his family, who had also made the trek to the western slope. Had breakfast and went shopping for ingredients to make this awesome dish. Also made a pitcher of Sangria for impending barbecue.
Nighttime activities: Picked up Gayboy and drove him to the festivities. This was the first group meeting since his incarceration, and lots of bridges have burned since then. To my utter delight, he was met with open arms and lots of hugs. I drank soda with him the entire time, even though beer and sangria were flowing like a river.
Late night activities: Drove Gayboy home before his curfew, saw some fireworks in passing and returned to the party for my much deserved adult beverage. Sangria was long gone at that point, but no worries. I managed to get into dancing mode pretty damn quick, and tried to not repeat the night of Young Buck and piss off the neighbors with my club music. Luckily, Former Bestie became my dance partner and we tore up that living room floor.
I attempted to stay awake through Grandma’s Boy, but sometime in the wee hours of the night, I was put to bed by a chivalrous man who didn’t want me passing out on his couch. How sweet.
Sunday:High School Reunion continued
Daytime Activities: Preparation for yet another bbq, this time at my house. Major house cleaning and more shopping (good time for me to buy a new car, eh?). Yet ANOTHER friend was in town from beyond the Mississippi, also a member of the high school posse.
High School Sweetheart was there. JLwas there. Curmudge & hubby were there. Much mingling & merriment comenced, including lots of hugging & gleeful “how have you been, man?”s. It was by far the best time I’ve had on my porch. Thank GOD it was put to good use!
Nighttime activities: Roofie called to say that he was running late, which I countered with, “Well, we have 10 people here who have been waiting to see LB all day, so if you could get here ASAP, that would be great.”
Child returned home tired, sunburned and sugar-high with no dinner in her stomach, but everyone was in such a good mood, I think it rubbed off on her. She passed out early.
Late Night activities: Chivalrous Man came over and brought a horrible movie starring John Cena, but he did rub my feet, so I kept my mouth shut and concentrated on the Ecstasy of my feet turning into jello. I’m still freaked out by sleeping with a man in my house while my daughter is there, but I’m working on getting over that. Chiv Man understood and went home after the movie was over, which was really cool of him, to say the least.
Monday: Work?
Daytime activities: Trying to get through work while receiving text messages & emails from Gayboy, Chivman and Former Bestie, begging me for one last night of hang time before Chivman had to leave for home. Re-upped the birth control, got over major guilt about finding a babysitter, and coordinated schedules in a haphazard 8-hour time period.
Nighttime activities: More good sex. Said our goodbyes. Lots of hugs. Former Bestie looked at me and said, “Ok, remember, we’re not dead. Let’s actually see each other again soon.”
Sounds good to me 🙂
Seriously, watching people re-connect, get together, share stories and reminisce the past? Its like the best natural high in the world. It makes me utterly giddy. I wish I could do that for a living.
Orbital Astrology 
Sounds like an awesome weekend!
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Quite a busy weekend. Glad you enjoyed yourself.
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AAHHHHHHH! You two are so cute together! Said cutest boy at the party just crawled into his baby sister’s clean basket of laundry in order to see what I was laughing about on here….sigh. It was a blast, thanks! Glad you enjoyed Cute Monster Toddler’s antics, he’s a wild child but at least a loving one!!
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What a great time!
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Good for you!
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Glad you had such a great time.
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What a great weekend! Re-connecting with people really is a wonderful feeling. You definitely outdid me when it comes to the VARIETY of fun 🙂
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Am I the only one who thinks maybe you shouldn’t ‘get over’ being freaked out sleeping with a guy while your daughter is home? This isn’t a long term, solid relationship, right? Seems to me that you could save that for times she’s with her dad. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but unless I’m missing something, it seems selfish and irresponsible to have casual sex when your daughter is home.
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Are you kidding? It’s so much more important for LB to have a happy mommy than to have her constantly worrying that something a kid can’t understand might have some intangible *possible* impact. What’s the concern? What is the “selfish and irresponsible” part? What makes it more or less “selfish and irresponsible” if she is at home or away? Furthermore, isn’t first finding out what the parents are doing just as traumatizing whether it is “casual” or within a long-term relationship?
Pisceshanna, only you know what is best for you and LB, just trust yourself.
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No I’m not kidding. It’s just my opinion, but I don’t think allowing casual hookups in your home with a young impressionable child around is a good thing. She may not think anything of seeing (or hearing) a random guy around the house right now, but when she’s 6, what will she think? When she’s 8 or 10 or 13? Is that behavior you’d like her to model? Will it be confusing for her? Is it safe for her? I agree completely having a happy mom is good for any child, but it isn’t as if Hanna never has a night free from her daughter. Why not save the sex for those nights? Because it’s inconvenient? The hookup just won’t happen if it’s not tonight while LB is home?? Well, that’s called ‘sacrifice’. Sex is not like oxygen, food or water.. you don’t need it, you WANT it. Indulge yourself when she’s not around. And yes it makes a difference whether it’s a long term relationship.. that would imply that there’s just one guy, not potentially a string of them over the years, coming and going from the house with a young girl around. I’m not judging Hanna for wanting an outlet.. truly I get it. But I think sometimes it’s good to hear a different opinion from a 3rd party instead of the same ‘that’s great, good for you’ comments all the time. Sometimes it’s not great and it’s not good for you.
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Great weekends are SUCH a good way to start the week!! 🙂
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Coming from a divorced family, I can tell you a little bit about what it was like for my brother and I seeing my parents having ‘casual hookups’. When my brother would visit my dad (he was about 5 or 6) he would come home very upset because my dad was hooking up with this woman while he was there. I don’t know exactly what it was for my brother that upset him, because I wasn’t in his shoes, but this woman was not someone my dad had a long term relationship with. It caused my brother pain to see it. I know that much. To this day, my brother is in his mid-twenties and still talks about that experience as a traumatizing thing he went through. After that, my dad stopped seeing random women during visitation hours.
However, I was on vacation once with him and he hooked up with a random woman at the hotel, not in the room with me but in her room while I was ‘sleeping’. I saw them dancing earlier in the evening, ‘dirty’ dancing. At the time, I don’t think it bothered me much. But as I got older and learned more about relationships, I started getting very angry with my dad for doing that on ‘our’ time. It changed my opinion of him. I started to feel like he was a pretty sleazy guy.
For my brother and me, these situations were confusing and painful. Our relationship with our father is not a good one, even to this day. This is just some insight to the *possible* feelings LB could have later.
It does seem like you have time to yourself when LB is with her dad. I agree that the hookups should probably be saved for when LB isn’t around. And of course, a committed long term relationship is another story.
Love your blog, hope this is somehow useful to you. No offense intended.
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Thanks for you perspective Cristin. This is the exact reason why I am struggling with this issue, and haven’t actually HAD sex a man in my house with LB there.
Another reason why I think I’ve waited so long is because my daughter’s father immediately moved in with the next woman he met after he abandoned us. I think I’ve sort of felt like a better person than he was because I’ve stayed away from exposing my daughter to that for so long. I didn’t think it was fair to her.
Still working out the kinks of how this is supposed to fit into my life.
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Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend! Maybe next year we can afford go get out there and join in the festivities.. or create some of our own! I hope you and LB are doing well! Miss you both!!!
xoxoxox
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Coming from a divorced family, I can tell you that eventually children will recognize and reduce contact with a sleazy parent, regardless of how many partners may have come and gone (my father – two partners that I was aware of, and these long-term relationships didn’t make him any less sleazy).
From everything I have seen, you have made overwhelmingly sensible, reasonable, and responsible choices that have proven to help LB be a well-adjusted kid. Frankly, I’m glad that you are finally making an effort to address your needs, and I have complete faith that you will not go off the deep end into promiscuity, and will instead do as you have always done – whatever is best for your daughter.
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Sounds like a great weekend! That’s how 4th of July (or heck any weekend) is supposed to be.
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