single mom

Understanding the ending

The rain began to fall right as dusk settled against theLa Platas. The intoxicating blend of thunder rolling over these 3 elements sent me into comatose bliss on my sagging blue love seat.

Suddenly I’m awake and Monsters Inc. rolling credits. I can’t even remember the beginning of the movie. There is a 50-minute  blank  spot in my life. My daughter is looking at me quizzically. 

This issue first reared its ugly head almost a year ago. Apparently, its back with a vengeance.

Later on, while watching Dog the Bounty Hunter and having girl talk with my gay boyfriend, I heard the bears pounding furiously on the trash cans. The bear locks make one-handed trash disposal nearly impossible, but at least there’s not a small landslide of food to clean up in the morning.

The bears must have spooked a skunk, because the next thing you know, I’m running to shut the door, pissed that I can no longer enjoy the sound of the rain. After debating whether or not Meryl Streep was right in Doubt, Gayboy and I said our nitey nites and skipped my Wii Fit in exchange for a big, soft pillow.

LB didn’t want to leave her new daycare yesterday. She was more than excited to go back this morning. Why do I even worry about these things? My body clearly is telling me to chill out.

All good things come to an end. All bad things come to an end. Endings are part of life. Understand the ending is PART of the story. The next part is the beginning! Which is huge! A huge new beginning. And a new nest or home to settle into and live in. – Anne Ortelee

I’m bad at endings. Ending conversations. Ending relationships. Ending the day (I HATE bedtime routines). I have about 5 different screenplays laying around. None of them have endings. I’m constantly irritated that endings don’t naturally happen, sometimes they involve conscious decisions, forceful actions, hard choices, and clear boundaries.

In true Piscean form, I would rather all of life’s problems simply drift away on a slow river. Denial, yeah, that’s my forte.

I guess there’s nothing to do but meditate on that quote, and hopefully find some peace in it.


8 thoughts on “Understanding the ending”

  1. Endings are hard, but with every ending comes a new beginning. Beginnings mean new potientials and possibilities.

    Sometimes…endings are good. 🙂


  2. I’m not a huge fan of endings, either. I’m all about constantly starting new things and never making it through to the end. I’m sometimes happy to see things end — like, I’m excited about graduating from college — but all endings have a hint of sadness to them.


  3. I’m so bad at endings. In fact I’ve been at jobs and in relationships too long in the past, simply because I was scared to end them. Love the quote.


  4. Haha I find I can never finish what I start myself. I think I have finished like 5 things in my adult life (one of them being a relationship) I’ll have to take littlemansmom’s comment to heart.


  5. I love reading you because I have many Pisces friends. Yeah, they’re all the same too.

    Decisions are tough though. No matter your astrology.


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