single mom

Embracing your inner white trash

Its been raining for a week straight in Colorado. For a population tempered to getting 300+ days of sunshine a year, all this melancholy weather is sending us into withdrawals.  We are a group of people who get upset if we haven’t gone camping by June 1st. This is why the school year ends before Memorial Day while the rest of the country gets to hang out indoors until mid June.

Speaking of Colorado,  I think I’m fostering another growing addiction on A&E.  Its almost embarrassing. 

Ok its really embarrassing.

You know when you start to go through testosterone deficiency when you have dreams like this. Or you stay up till midnight watching Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Halfway through the first episode I realized I had stopped channel surfing and was fixating hard on (he he) Leland Chapman’s tatooed biceps. Dog’s family is about as white trash as you can get, but hey they’re from Colorado, its not like I haven’t seen a mullet or shot a gun before.

Another upside to being a single mom: I don’t have to justify my guilty pleasures to my significant other. There’s no fighting over the remote. I don’t have to put up with public mockery besides the gagging noises my mom makes when she sees this show.

Leland is a single dad. So there. I’ve justified my lust…If only you could see me trying to keep a straight face.

Last weekend, after tweeting about my bitchy co-worker’s meltdown at the paper shredder,  I sent a Facebook message to this guy, saying, “help! I need testosterone. Meet me for a beer?”

His 2nd appearance confirmed something in me: I need more guy friends. I miss them. In high school I had an equal amount of both guy and girl friends. In College, it was mostly gay men. Post-college, I was a barfly, so I had tons of male buddies. Once I became a mom, the testosterone disappeared.

I love my 3 Leo best friends. Having their support and watching their growth has been a gift to someone who moved almost every year of her life. I know how lucky I am to still be as close as we were in high school. Now that two of them are married, their husbands have become my primary male friends. That’s not really cool. I can’t call my friend’s husband to see if he wants to go out for a beer, or a hike, or shoots some hoops.

With my gayboy back in town, and my reconnection with HS Sweetheart, I’m on a mission. I need to create a new penis posse.

Otherwise I may stay in every night,  fantasizing about this dude, and that may turn into a full blown, White Trash, Bad Boy relapse.  I’ve already played with fire after my experience with Young Buck, and managed to slip out before it got ugly.

I’m not going back to bad boys. Even if he might be a hot single dad.


14 thoughts on “Embracing your inner white trash”

  1. I just had a baby in February and am also a single mom, I found your blog through Mssinglemama and have read the entire thing in the last two days while breastfeeding my 4 month old son. I can relate to SO much of what you’ve said throughout and although Leland Chapman isn’t quite my idea of a hunk, I miss my guy friends as well it seems like there’s something about pregnancy and baby mode that fosters those female friendships but puts your male friendships on the back burner. Anyways, just wanted to stop lurking and comment, thank you for your insights and the glimpse you’ve given me into what my life as a single mother will hold over the next few years! Best, Maureen


    1. Welcome to single motherhood Maureen and props on the breastfeeding. No one really tells you how hard it is! I know my crush is a little demented, but after 2 years of single mommyhood, just IMAGINE who you’ll be lusting after! The possibilities are endless 😉


  2. Thank you!!! You’re right though I didn’t expect breastfeeding to be so difficult at first but I don’t think anything can really prepare you for motherhood nevermind single motherhood.


  3. I am lucky that I get to hang out with RadDude at work all day…and then send him home to his wife and kids! And lust over whomever I want when I get home 🙂


  4. It’s totally weird not having more guy friends around. I miss all of them too. I hope that we can start another guy posse =)

    Hope you had fun shopping at lunch! See ya soon!


  5. Guy friends? WTH. I have one, and I was friends with him first but love his wife more. The last REALLY great guy friend I had moved. I miss that. Sometimes.


  6. As soon as I started reading this, I busted out laughing. And not at you. It’s because I’ve never heard of Dog until the last month or so and a few of my guy friends (Alan, who I emailed you about, being one of them)have started watching the show. They’ve been talking about it lately and I’ve been teasing them about it. (I’ve never actually seen the show.) So it’s just funny that you’ve mentioned it now.

    Oh, and what you said to Maureen is so true. You never know who you’ll be crushing on after a few years as a single mom. I was doing one of my workout dvds with Bob Harper from Biggest Loser. I started thinking ‘he’s kind of hot’ and then decided I’ve been alone too long. I don’t know if someone is actually hot anymore, or if I’m just that desperate.


  7. I COMPLETELY agree! I have actually more guy friends than girl friends. I crave testosterone in my life too girl. I never thought about them saving me from bad boys though. Hmmm… yeah, I can see that.


  8. Like T, I also have more guy friends than girlfriends. I just wish I got to see them more often. And yeah, watching whatever I want when I want is great…but having who I want when I want would be better (even if that is just one guy)! 😉


  9. Yes, more guy friends please! I realized I needed more once I met back up with that old high school friend I keep blogging about. Now that it’s turning romantic, I need some non-romantic guy friends!


  10. This is funny. It reminds me of when you’re pregnant and horny as hell in the second trimester and you start fantasizing about and lusting after guys just BECAUSE. So, wait, does that mean that single mommyhood is reverting to pregnancy? WTH? I think I just confused myself.


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