single mom

Broken system

At about 3:30 yesterday, Daycare called and said LB had a rash. They told me I need to take her to the doctor and get a note saying its not contagious before she can return. By the time I got there, the rash had all but cleared up.


  1. We live in southwest Colorado, its dry.
  2. The backyard of the daycare is all dirt. No grass.
  3. The kids roll around in the dirt all day long.
  4. There is no shade in the backyard, thus making it VERY hot in the midday sun.
  5. My daughter still has random potty accidents which can trigger rashes.
  6. My daughter probably has very sensitive skin, and after a long with all these conditions will usually have dry, red skin.
  7. I put lotion on her every night after bath time. Maybe I need a better lotion than Johnson & Johnson

After explaining all of this to the head teacher, and asking if a doctor’s note was really necessary,  they gave me this infamous answer:

“Sorry, that’s our policy.”

I almost lost it. I wanted to scream. If someone tells me those words ONE MORE TIME….

I called LB’s doctor. Got the answering service. Drove by as soon as they opened up this morning and explained the situation and asked for a piece of scrap paper with the doctor’s signature. They told me they couldn’t sign anything without looking at my kid and the next available appointment was at 11 am.

I called Headstart in a fury and asked to talk to the Head Nurse. They gave me her voice mail. I left a seething message, telling them I was standing outside my doctor’s office, I had nowhere to leave my perfectly healthy child and I was missing work all because of their damn policy.

Based on my previous experience with Headstart, I didn’t expect to get anywhere, so I called my job, explained I wouldn’t be in until after 11, and took my daughter out to breakfast. As soon as we got our order, they called back. They asked me if LB was feeling better and if she still had a rash and I said the rash was gone by the time I picked her up yesterday. Then they said it would be ok for me to bring her back, so I left my un-eaten food and dragged my daughter out of white trash Denny’s screaming for her whipped cream pancakes.

I know I should have let her finish. I know I should have taken this opportunity to have a nice breakfast with my kiddo, but I was too pissed to enjoy it. I was 2 hours late to work, and that meant I would have to use 2 more hours of my vacation time to cover my docked pay. At this rate, I’m never going to get enough time saved up for a vacation.

It doesn’t help that my friend is in Hawaii right now, and everyone I know seems to be taking vacations, or driving Ford Fiestas, or getting engaged, or blah blah blah… rant rant rant. I love all these other single moms, and I know I’m feeling sorry for myself, but fuck it.

I have to go to the policy committee tonight, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep my cool. Its the last place I want to be right now. I don’t even want to deal with Headstart anymore. I want to withdraw LB, honestly. I may after tonight. I’m sick of dealing with their crap.

So sad that an organization who’s goal is to help parents and expand the education of young children is so caught up in policy and covering their asses, is shooting themselves in the foot. I like Headstart, I think their mission statement is extremely admirable. But like so many other public service programs, its a broken system.

P.S. Roofie called me last night and informed me that he had to cancel his weekend due to the fact that he no longer has a license and needs to work. I guess the judge wasn’t lenient with him on his child support default.

My chipper response: “Well thanks for calling and letting me know. Talk to you later.”



16 thoughts on “Broken system”

  1. I’m so glad you said that about the single moms getting engaged – I said the exact same thing to Kori in an email this a.m. It’s not that I’m not happy for them, of course, and I don’t even WANT to get married again. Still makes me feel left behind somehow.
    It’s okay to vent every now and then. No one said we had to happy all the friggin’ time, right?


  2. Oh, forgot to talk about the Headstart thing. By venting, you’ll be a little calmer tonight. Jot some points down to help you tonight. I’ll be thinking of you.


  3. I can relate to seeing so many other single moms having such exciting news. It is not that I am not happy for them, I am, but I too feel a little left out. I’m sorry about all the bullshit with head start, my daughter gets a rash from time to time, it is normal. I can’t believe that is their “policy” it just doesn’t make sense. I hope tonight goes well, and I hope that your bonus weekend with your daughter is wonderful! Maybe you can take her out to breakfast and get her those pancakes!


  4. Sorry that you have to deal with such crap. It is always disheartening to see things that are meant to help people get overtaken by bureaucracies and red tape. Uh oh I better stop before my head spins off into the clouds.

    Good luck at the policy meeting…


  5. This is one of those moments where I sheepishly bow my head down and tell you I adore you…



  6. I think that we are all lying out our asses if we don’t feel this way sometimes. Left behind and alone, no matter how much we are okay with being single or poor or whatever. As for the headstart thing, I agree with April that venting may help you approach the meeting in a better fram of mind. It infuriates me to no end that this agency who has a rep for being a great place for kids is suchs a douchebag of a joint.


  7. I’ve dealt with the rash thing before. Shiloh has sensitive skin and I’ve had to miss work several times to take her to the doctor for no reason. And I was so mad about it, so I know how you feel.

    As for the vacation thing, I’m with you on that also. I haven’t had a vacation since 2005, when I was still married and childless. And all I’ve used my vacation days for since then are for doctor’s appointments, a sick baby, and an occasional cleaning day. I want a vacation! My sister is in CA right now, my cousin is in Denver, CO, and my other cousin is in FL. Oh, and my sister just got back from FL and Disney World about three weeks ago. I counted and my sister and her husband have been on six vacations in the last year. SIX! I know I should be happy for her, but I’m also kind of jealous.

    Thanks for letting me complain on your blog. Hope tomorrow is better for you.


  8. I’m sorry Hanna, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I worry my ass off sometimes, about the time I miss being at work because of a sickness that Emilee has. **Hugs** I hope you’re weekend is kick ass, and, remember, it’s YOUR blog. You can vent all you want. 🙂


  9. I can totally relate to the frustration about the rash and headstart policy. In alot of situations, them not bending will cause more problems than solve.

    Hopefully, today was alot better for you.


  10. Awww, i’m sorry the day sucked for you hun. I’d be getting really super pissed off at them too. I wish things would get better for me and you both, so that we can start enjoying life instead of being irritated all the time. Hey maybe we will get lucky and the star’s will start to realize that us single pisces mom’s need a break once in a while too, ill keep my fingers crossed.


  11. I’m with you. Feeling a little under loved and under blessed over here too. My car is dying, I cannot find a job, and my kid tells me she hates me at least once a day. Being a single mom is so glamorous, eh?

    You are a force to be reckoned with, though, you know. I would be careful if I were them. You are not someone they should be messing with AT ALL. : )


  12. I often have those moments with my girls where I think about them later and say to myself “I really should have just relaxed a bit more and enjoyed that instead of just bitching and whining”… but, it happens. More often than probably any of us care to admit. I’m sorry you had such a rough day


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s