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Documenting vs. Badmouthing

April 8, 2009

Meeting again with Rooferman tonight. Its amazing how different I feel going into it this time. I would say that I’m looking forward to it a tiny bit, but I don’t want to jinx myself.

That “I’m going to Disneyland” song was playing on the radio this morning. I got a little emotional high listening to it. Maybe its because I feel like I’m on the verge of something. This all being over? God I wish.

Blondie informed me last night that I was (once again) no longer welcome in her house. I’ve heard that so many times that its almost lost its meaning. I think she got a hold of the updated parenting plan and actually read though it. When she got to this part:

Each parent shall be afforded a brief period not to exceed fifteen (15) minutes once every six months, or upon any relocation, to see and inspect the residence of the other, including the sleep area provided for the minor child. 

She wasn’t too happy.

She told me that I can call Social Services on her if I want, but there was no way I was going to inspect her home. She “just doesn’t agree with that.”

Too bad for her, its not her choice. The funniest part about it was I didn’t even request this to be put in the parenting plan. Lawyerdude said that was standard procedure for someone who has unstable living situations (which I think Roofie qualifies as).

I also received a statement of how far behind Rooferman is in child support payments.

The total stands at $4829.00

These are the facts people. I’m just documenting them. Is it really considered bad-mouthing when I’m describing actual events? I don’t know. I’m just trying to make sense of my life and do it in a way where my daughter doesn’t get hurt.

Do you think Erin Brockovich’s kids embarrassed that their mom revealed their life story on the big screen, or do you think they are incredibly proud and inspired that she is their mom? They had deadbeats as dads, and the entire world knew that. 

What do you think?

8 Comments leave one →
  1. April 8, 2009 9:24 am

    I think that it’s all in how it’s presented to the kids. If, for instance, Erin didn’t explain to them about the movie and it’s honest portrayal of their lives, then they could’ve been upset. But if she told them that she wanted people to know the truth, then it could’ve been really amazing. I wonder if other kids wrote Erin’s kids once they found out they weren’t the only ones? There’s strength in community, in knowing we’re not the only ones.

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  2. April 8, 2009 10:57 am

    Interesting question! Stating that he owes x amount is fact – not badmouthing!

    I try to say things that are fact based about my ex – he didnt pay or he didnt pitch – its fact! What they imply is really left up to the reader! There have been times I have been angry with him and said so – dont see why thats wrong either! I get mad with my friends, with boyfriends – it happens!

    I would like to think Erins kids are proud for her!

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  3. April 8, 2009 11:45 am

    There is a HUGE difference between what we say to your kids about their father and what we blog/write about – obviously different audiences get different information. By the time our kids are old enough to find the blogs and read them they will already know the truth anyway. I wrote a post about this a while back here:

    http://singlemommindy.blogspot.com/2009/03/single-moms-responsibility.html

    I blog about my kids’ fathers sometimes and what I share are the facts and my feelings about them. The facts speak for themselves and it’s not my problem if those facts make their dad look bad; it’s his!

    And Erin B’s kids should be proud.

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  4. lilcyndiluwho permalink
    April 8, 2009 12:11 pm

    I think the people that created the big stink on that question a couple of weeks ago have never walked even a block in the shoes of a single mom with a present, but destructive X/Father. Venting is venting and everyone is entitled to do it. And as you said, in your case, documentation is just documentation. There is nothing I’ve seen in your blog that would worry me if you were my client.

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  5. April 8, 2009 12:52 pm

    If the truth= badmouthing than so be it. I don’t see how simply stating the facts is considered badmouthing. The only person who should feel bad about it is Roofie. I think you have been talking about your experiences and how you feel about them, and telling the truth. I think that Erin B’s children are and should be proud of her!

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  6. April 8, 2009 1:07 pm

    Thanks for the link Mama!

    Reading your post now, you are stating the facts, clear and simple, without name calling. You’re putting the numbers and the law out there, truthfully.

    Good for you for staying educated and on-the-ball.

    Like

  7. phoenixlike permalink
    April 8, 2009 4:16 pm

    What I have never understood is how Blondie, who is a woman and a mother herself, sees you as some kind of enemy.

    Hopefully this is the end of the road (or at least it is winding down).

    One thing I have learned in my sub law class is that if it’s true, it’s a fact and nothing else. Clearly Blondie is not a fan of facts that don’t go according to the way her mind works.

    Hang in there!

    Like

  8. April 10, 2009 11:19 pm

    Documenting is not badmouthing. You’re stating the facts. Plain and simple. Keep at it girl! You’re doing a great job. 🙂

    Like

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