court, custody, deadbeat dad, hell, jaded, lawyer, pain, parenting, pisces, single mom

Sick of this

Roofie called my lawyer yesterday, stating that he’s tried numerous times to meet with me but I’ve refused. Lawyerdude said “I don’t believe that, but if you two can work this out, I think that’s best for everyone.”

I feel like my teeth are being pulled out one by one, and just when I’ve managed to get over the pain, here comes Roofie with the pliers again. Unfortunately, my Laywer is right. As long as one of us keeps “trying to work it out” that’s what a Judge wants.

So via email and phone calls through my lawyer, Rooferman finally agreed to meet me “One on One” at his parent’s home sometime next week.  Since his mother considers both of us her children, I guess that’s as neutral a location as we’re going to get.  Maybe his mom will even back me up.

When his parents came to me the night before our last court date, they had lots of questions and I explained the parenting plan my lawyer and I had made up in detail. His mom asked me if the Judge was going to clarify these things at the status conference, because she thought Rooferman didn’t really understand all of it.

Maybe with her help, he will?

At least this time I’m not going into it with a shining ray of hope. In fact, my lawyer is asking me to contact witnesses for the trial already. Basically, preparing for the worst, but if at all possible, hoping for the best.

 I know many of my bloggy friends have told me not to meet with him, and to stop torturing myself. Last time I was so shocked by his request to meet with me that I started fantasizing an easy way out (I’m a Pisces, I’m good at that). This time I know what he’s trying to do. So I can show up, bring my parenting plan, listen to what he has to say, and tell him “I’m sorry you’re not willing to compromise. I will see you in court.”

Otherwise, he will tell the Judge that he tried and tried to come to an agreement with me, but I refused to meet with him. 

I’m just so sick of this.


16 thoughts on “Sick of this”

  1. I love reading your blog. Your life with your ex is so similar to mine with my ex. I always want to leave you a comment with some possible words of wisdom and I never can. Even though I know I’ve been where you are there are no right words for dealing with irrational people. I still wonder what causes people (men) to behave the way they do. Hang in there, never give up and know that eventually the pain will end. Eventually you will come out of this and be stronger for it.


  2. Sigh…I know it is hard, and tiring, and scary on deep, fundamental levels. Been there. Just-get through each day, as best as you can. Sending you hugs.


  3. Yes, you do have to show a “good faith effort” and his mom can testify you did just that. It’s good that you are being realistic about the end result too.

    I completely understand “sick of it” after seven years of legal issues with my ex and four with DBD. Keep your head up!


  4. Ugh, I’m sorry. I hope that the meeting goes okay; maybe with his parents around they can talk some sense into him about the parenting plan. My fingers are crossed for ya =)


  5. I’m sorry honey….I remember this part of it being so emotionally exhausting. Hang in there kiddo…it can’t go on like this forever!


  6. Why don’t you try taking a take recorder along with you everything to you see him from now on. It doesn’t have to be big and you can have it recording in your pocket when you interact, that way his decision mood swings will be documented for court use.

    I really hope this gets better for you soon. Fingers-crossed that everything works out the way you want it to.


    1. For some reason my fingers don’t type correctly today and that last comment made NO sense. **Try taking a tape recorder along with you every time you interact with him** There!! I did it right this time.


  7. Hoping for the best this time. Sadly I think it will turn out like you said with you seeing him in court. At least he can’t say you didn’t try to meet with him


  8. I so totally understand your frustration. I’ve been dealing with shit like that for 16 years now. I’ve finally come to the point it’s time for some revenge and started a web page all about the crap he’s doing and hoping people will visit and leave suggestions or info I can use in court. Best of luck to you and if you or your readers have any time I’d love to get some visits to my page. It’s just starting but I have so much to put on. Mini soap opera in the works, lol.

    Good luck with everything. I’m going to go read the rest of your entries now.


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