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News & Advice

March 16, 2009

Good News! It looks like LB may still qualify for Head Start! They base eligibility on last year’s taxes, and I didn’t start my new job until January, so I still fall within the Po’ White trash guidelines. That means no moving her to the more expensive, but closer ( literally, downstairs) daycare. No filing another modification of Child Support.

Oh the luck!

I also got an email from one of my mom’s friends, who also happens to be a single mom. She raised her daughter from a very early age, and apparently read my post at Rocky Mountain Moms Blog. Since there’s been so much discussion about single moms dating lately, I thought I’d post her opinion on the subject, after living single motherhood for more than 30 years:

 Being a dating, single mom is tricky, but not so hard.  I strongly suggest what I did.  I kept the guys away from my daughter.  They knew about her, but they were not exposed to her.  I was out to have a good time.  Not find a daddy.  However, if I found someone that I really enjoyed, and the feeling was mutual, and I was hopeful, then they could meet her because I was not going to spend a lot of time without my girl.  They had to be worthy, and they had to be good with kids.  Or that was it. 

I really hear her on “having a good time” vs. “finding a daddy”. This is the argument that I keep trying to make. That single moms CAN have a sex life, an adult life, and that life doesn’t affect or hurt their child in any way.  The question is, can we bring this philosophy to the next level?

10 Comments leave one →
  1. March 16, 2009 1:54 pm

    YAY on good news!
    I love what your mom’s friend said, and that’s how I look at it as well. I’m still really scared of the whole blended family concept since I’ve seen the hardships of that one. Plus, I really have no need for a relationship right now. But sex every now and then is good!

    Like

  2. March 16, 2009 3:00 pm

    That IS good news! And I, too, like the comment your mom’s friend made, AND april’s response. I just don’t have anything else to add, which is amazing! 🙂

    Like

  3. March 16, 2009 8:34 pm

    Glad LB doesnt have to move schools – although somehow I actually thought you had moved her!

    I also totally get that fun vs daddy thing – very true!!!!

    Like

  4. March 16, 2009 8:39 pm

    I agree, it’s how I see things. Makes the most sense. I’m glad that you don’t have to change anything, yay!

    Like

  5. March 16, 2009 9:08 pm

    AMEN MAMA!!

    Like

  6. bel permalink
    March 16, 2009 9:54 pm

    I have to say it works! I’ve been a single mom for ten years and that is exactly how I manage my life. Thank you for saying it out loud!

    Like

  7. March 17, 2009 8:31 am

    That’s great news about LB.

    I like what your friend said also. Of course, I’m not dating, casually or seriously, but I already know that I wouldn’t want Shiloh around someone if I was. At least not unless I knew it was very serious and it was going somewhere. I don’t think that would be fair to her.

    Like

  8. March 17, 2009 8:44 am

    I completley agree with your mom’s friend. In the seven years I’ve been a single mom my kids only meet a guy if it becomes a LTR. They never meet “dates” but they know I that I date and are happy that I do instead of making myself a spinster just because I’m single AND a mom.

    Like

  9. QTMama permalink
    March 18, 2009 9:52 am

    Good news on not having to move LB! I’m happy for you!

    And your mom’s friend and I have the same thoughts on this one. I couldn’t agree more!

    Like

  10. Shiona permalink
    March 22, 2009 11:02 pm

    Cool on the Head Start. And that is definitely great advice.

    Like

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