I posted at Rocky Mountain Moms Blog today. I wrote in defense of another single mom.
I read Rachel Sarah’s book, Single Mom Seekingabout a year ago. I had just moved into my own apartment, and for the first time in my life, I was alone. I had never lived in a house without roommates, boyfriends or my parents. Now I was on my own, fully responsible for my 18 month old child.
About a week before I moved, I had a terrifying epiphany. I could not get hurt. What if I fell down the stairs and broke my neck one day? What if I choked on a fish bone? Who would be there to administer CPR? How long would I lie on the ground, listening to my daughter cry helplessly, waiting for someone to help me? There would be no hubby coming home from work at 6 pm. There would be no boyfriend miraculously calling to ask if I wanted take-out and instead rushing home to take me to the hospital.
No, that would not be my fate. As Bridget Jones said,”I would be found three weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs.” Only they would find a dead baby as well!
My mind really can be an awful place.
Eventually I stopped the morbid death obsession, and starting living my new life. At first, I made sure I either called someone, or someone called me every day. That eventually tapered off into normal day-to-day life. What single mom has the energy to worry about her own death? Not me, I soon realized.
Rachel Sarah’s book was like a glimpse into an alien world. A world where single moms do more than just survive. I was so busy taking care of the basic necessities, I didn’t realize that maybe I should take the next step up on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I still had blood running through my veins after all. I still desired a man’s touch.
I read Single Mom Seeking, and finally the logistics of dating seemed plausible. I mean, she dated A LOT. I barely had any male contact in my life. The daily trek between work, daycare and home didn’t really put me in the way of many single men.
This book shocked me at how brave and exposed Rachel Sarah allowed herself to be. She put herself out there honestly, with an open mind, prepared to play with the hand she had been dealt. The book was extremely intimate, there were many blush-worthy moments for me, having been so detached from my own sexuality.
So when this article came out, depicting one of the most controversial moments in the book, I had to answer the author’s plea for support. I was appalled at the comments, floored at how many came from other moms. Instead of considering their own reactions to the article, and why exactly society still treats a mother’s sexuality like a cancerous growth, they laid into Single Mom Seeking with an ugly vengeance.
Here’s to your fearlessness, Rachel. Thanks for letting the world know that single moms have the same sexual desires as married moms, and we should be able to express them without public humiliation.