My friend emailed me this, and I kinda liked it. Do you have a pair of Armed Robbery boots?
What she was wearing
by Denver Butson
“This is my suicide dress,” she told him. “I only wear it on days
when I’m afraid I might kill myself if I don’t wear it.”
“You’ve been wearing it every day since we met,” he said.
“And these are my arson gloves.”
“So you don’t set fire to something?” he asked.
“Exactly. And this is my terrorism lipstick, my assault and battery eyeliner, my armed robbery boots.”
“I’d like to undress you,” he said. “But would that make me an accomplice?”
“Today, I’m wearing my infidelity underwear, so don’t get any ideas.”
And she put on her nervous breakdown hat and walked out the door.