custody, deadbeat dad, single mom, toddler

No sympathy for the deadbeat

I didn’t think I would re-qualify for WIC, but I did. Cutting back on food costs will be a tremendous help this winter, since rent, heat and electric bills are all going up. The only good thing about the economy right now is gas has miraculously dropped below $2.00 a gallon.

I’m also in the process of writing up my answers for the State of Colorado Admin Asst. Test. If I do get this job, I will no longer qualify for ANY state assistance, so that’s a little scary, but good. I may be able to afford a non-subsidized apartment, closer to town. I would be able to grab LB a spot at the rockin’ early childhood education center that is located ON SITE at the workplace. I might even be able to afford a car payment. There would be a LOT of changes involved.

I picked up LB from visitation last night, and she reeked of s***. I flashed back to this day, and asked LB if she had to go potty. She promptly replied “I pooped.” Blondie looked at Rooferman. He looked at her. No one said a word. Finally Blondie threw some baby wipes at Rooferman and I rolled my eyes and said “I have clean clothes in the car, don’t worry about it.”

Rooferman told me he was going to pick up LB at 8:30 am on Thanksgiving. No discussion, no questions, no asking for my input. I told him his mother expressed interest in seeing her too, so they would need to work something out where both of them could spend time with her. He replied shortly, “Oh, she’s coming to Thanksgiving with us.”

As I tried to wrangle the foul undies off my child in the backseat of my car, she asked me “You Mommy and Daddy?”

“No, LB I’m just mommy.”

“I not LB, I’m Precious.”

“Ohhhh I see.”

She then devoured the leftover banana bread I had brought to the parent meeting at her daycare. At home, she fell into a peaceful sleep, almost immediately upon closing her bedroom door. I watched Run, Fat Boy, Run.  I was really looking forward to an interesting story about two single parents, but I was sadly disappointed. There were a few laughs, but my bitterness towards Rooferman prevented me from truly enjoying a sympathetic take on a lovable deadbeat dad.

This morning at LB’s parent/teacher “conference”, Scott told me that she’s become less clingy towards him now that her daddy is involved. I’m torn between happiness and an impending sense of doom. Its a lovely feeling.


13 thoughts on “No sympathy for the deadbeat”

  1. God, I am just fuming right now.

    FUMING. How can men like him be allowed to see their kids? If she has a butt rash you should take pictures. Damn it, what a loser.

    Benjamin does the same thing when he comes home to me.

    1. His butt always smells rank b/c his father doesn’t bath him.
    2. He always eats a mountain of food as soon as he can.
    3. He always passes out 2 hours before his normal bedtime.

    Damn it. Okay. Sorry. I just hate this so much. I am seriously, seriously considering moving far away from him. I know that’s horrible but the way they care for our children is even more horrid.

    I really hope you get that job!


  2. Another thing –

    This, what you’ve captured here, the moment of picking a child up from a dead beat dad’s house like this is above all THE hardest thing about being a single mom. Beats everything else, hands down.


  3. ARGH!!!!

    That totally sucks!!! Poor LB 😦

    At least you mentioned it while they were both there – maybe next time they will do something about it?

    But pretty cool she is falling asleep easily now?


  4. Just reading this makes me mad. And it also reminds me how lucky I am that I don’t have to share Shiloh with my ex. (I know that’s a touchy subject, since the dad should be in their life, but at least I’m not dealing with this craziness and stress.)

    That’s really cool about the job. If you get it, I know it would be scary to make all those changes (I’m so not good at change), but it would be worth it. I wish I could find something like that here in TN. Good luck!


  5. Ugh, he is such an idiot! Like the two of them couldn’t smell what was going on, then they just stare at each other?!?

    I’m totally glad LB went to sleep easy though. I’m also really excited for you and the new job possibility. That would be so great if you could make more money to help you and LB out, not to mention the daycare situation sounds great =)

    Love you guys!!

    P.S. Let me know if you want to watch football this weekend…


  6. Thank you so much for your comment and for visiting my site.

    I agree with you about kids needing different points of view, I think that is one reason I have always encouraged my ex to have a relationship with our daughter. I was just so unaware that it hurt her to not be like the other kids in her school. Maybe it was denial on my part.

    I think that this made me realize how important it is to let your feelings be known to one another, and to just try to heal.

    I have a feeling that this will come up again…and again at different stages in her life. I fear I won’t always have the right answer for her, but I trust that no matter what she will always know that she is my number one.

    Good luck to you and your daughter. And hang in there, it doesn’t get any easier, but it’s all well worth it!


  7. Oh man, that is really annoying. Change as scary as it is is good. Glad you’re feeling the money pinch a little less. Oh to have gas go below 2.00. I doubt that would ever happen here 🙂 Good luck on the test


  8. Money, don’t you hate to need and love it.

    Hope your transition is an easy one.

    I had an interview today for my first post-divorce job and while I’m a little excited about the adult company, I’m scared as piss.

    You are always there aren’t you. I can’t believe this guy can’t get his, pardon the pun, “shit” together. Oh yes, sorry I can.

    AND, I absolutely love that LB knows she is “Precious”.


  9. Hey there Hanna – I share all the sentiments other commenters have left, and I also know that you will RISE above this. I am so excited for you and hope you get this job that will allow you to have a more comfortable life and to have LB in a great childcare situation. You are so strong, mama. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.


  10. WELL. Aside from he and Blondie being assclowns about the poop? What gets me is his declaration that he just is … taking her for Thanksgiving. His attitude is one of shit, just like he left her bottom.


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