The Eve

After my cell phone company told me I could only retrieve text messages with a subpoena, I transcribed them into a document which included every date and time (from the journal I’ve been keeping) I’ve tried to get Rooferman to discuss a parenting plan in the past year and emailed them to Lawyerdude. He responded with “Its all hearsay, but sometimes the Judge will allow you to present it. I would bring it to court and see what happens.”

Hopefully the Judge will allow me to submit my document as evidence that I’ve made an honest effort to agree on a parenting plan, but Rooferman has been uncooperative, inconsistent,  has failed to show up and refuses to meet with me alone.

As of today, no parenting class has been completed and submitted to court by Rooferman, but I’ve heard through the grapevine that the class is now offered ONLINE (which theoretically could mean Blondie or any other human on this planet could complete the parenting class FOR him). I recieved the signed receipt from the certified letter I sent to him this weekend. The name on the card is one I don’t recognize, which makes me wonder how many people are actually living at Blondie’s house.

As hugely dramatic as my life seems right now, I have to stop and remember there is something so much bigger going on. Today is the last day of “W.” After tonight, we will have a new president, and a canyon in history will be crossed. How ironic that this momentous occasion falls so close to my own day of judgement. Saturn and Uranus are at odds, and its obvious. I’ve felt the electricity, hostility and anger of those two entities in the past week, and its all coming to a head in the next 24 hours.

LB is staying with her Grandma tonight. After Rooferman fails to show up tonight, and I get tapped by hippie counselor, I’m immersing myself in the election. I’m letting the excitement, hope and anticipation take me on whatever ride it decides. I’m letting go of the pain, fear and shame of my country’s past, but also my own past, and facing the future, whatever that may be. I’ve decided that what happens tomorrow really isn’t up to me. I’ve done my part. I’ve cast my ballot, done my research, prepared my case, prayed for guidance and courage, and sucked in as many good vibrations as possible.

On this eve of major universal and personal shift, I’m giving up the illusion of control. I will ride this wave into the unknown, and face whatever lies in my future.  Chaos? Turbulence? Struggle? Success? Victory? Justice?

It helps knowing you all got my back. I got yours too.

Peace.