court, custody, single mom


Court was a complete waste of time. We didn’t even get to see a Judge. The “Court Facilitator” basically sat us down and asked us if we had all the required paperwork. I obviously had completed everything and turned it to the courts, but Rooferman hadn’t done s***.

He didn’t know he had to take a parenting class. He hadn’t completed his financial affidavit. The only thing he had was his own little angry parenting plan, completely rejecting mine. The Court Facilitator just gave us admonishing looks like “Tut Tut, you really need to agree on a parenting plan, kids.”

I was so exasperated. I’ve been TRYING to get him to agree on a parenting plan FOR 10 MONTHS LADY! I’ve called him, asked him, pleaded with him, brought over numerous different plans, and HE NEVER SIGNED ANY OF THEM! I wouldn’t BE HERE IN COURT if I could do this on my own! I NEED HELP!

Rooferman was definitely in a bubble. He couldn’t even answer all the questions she had for us. Lucky for him, Blondie was there to put words in his mouth. His girlfriend spoke for him 90% of the time. I know its illegal for anyone on the other side of the bar to be involved in a court case, but since it was off the record, and there was no judge present, I guess that s*** can fly.

Seriously, he was Blondie’s puppet. When the Court Facilitator asked if next week was good to come back to see the Judge, he looked at his girlfriend for the answer! It was almost embarrassing. He’s a grown man! Do your own work! Get your s*** together! I wanted to puke right there.

Luckily my boss was there to back me up. She gave me the name of a great counselor who can supervise a whole conversation (wow!) between Rooferman and myself. So I am going to attempt to get him in the same room with me (alone) ONCE AGAIN before I have to go back to court on Nov 5th. If he doesn’t show up, his loss. If he doesn’t answer my phone calls, his loss. If he refuses to meet with me, his loss.

I AM SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED, but I did hold myself together. Seeing Rooferman and his girlfriend together made me realize how glad I am to be on my own. I’ve done all my own research, all my own preparation, filed all my own paperwork, and I can stand on my own two feet. I’m not wrapped around my significant other’s finger. I’m not in a dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship. I don’t have someone else’s words coming out of my mouth. I am smart, informed and I take care of my daughter. He can’t say any of those things.

Thank you for everyone’s happy thoughts. Keep a little stockpile for next Wednesday.


13 thoughts on “Void”

  1. I am sorry it did not go the way you wanted it to. This is the perfect example of the insanity of our court system. A father has shown no interest in creating any sort of parenting plan but they will still make sure he has every opportunity to do so.

    What I learned is that court never goes the way I am hoping it will. But if I walk out of there satisfied with more than half of what I asked for, I feel victorious.

    It is a long, crappy process. I have been in and out of court every couple months (sometimes twice/month) since September of last year.

    Be patient, don’t waver, remember your goal.


  2. Thats a little frustrating!!! Will definately keep more happy thoughts for next week!!!

    WELL DONE for keeping it together though!


  3. That really sucks!

    I’m glad that you were able to see the good in the situation though. I’m glad you can appreciate how strong and confident you are. I hate that the process is so long.


  4. You kept it together, you were prepared — that part is awesome!! Will obviously have another batch of good vibes and single mama strength coming your way on the 5th!!!


  5. Oh gosh, I am so sorry about your frustration but I hope they documented his lack preparation! It sounds like you are a strong, independent woman who has her child’s best interest at heart! Stay strong and you will get through all this court heartache.


  6. Shit, you’ve been going through a lot while I wasn’t blogging. You are one string chick!

    I’m sorry that the Judge didn’t scream “Ok ASS%^ole since you don’t have it together … go away!” All that anticipating and NO judge, I’m so sorry, you must be soooo frustrated!

    Take a DEEP breath and keep going. You can do this!


  7. That does suck that it didn’t go the way you wanted. Yes you should definitely be glad you’re not on their side of the table. Next week that shit shouldn’t fly at all with Blondie. Hopefully you can agree on something.


  8. I’m so sorry to hear how it went. Our mediation was a total joke but at least Ex wasn’t allowed to have his mommy in there with him! I’m pretty sure he called her several times for advice but he did actually have to speak the answers for himself…well, actually, his attorney spoke for him. I agree that the court system is completely hosed. I hope you get some resolution soon. Big hugs to you and LB…


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