single mom

Apple Soup and Alligator Crisp

I dedicate this post to Jenn3 because I laughed cruelly at her innability to clap to a beat. Jenn3, at least you are able to keep your family from starving, which is a much more useful skill than clapping. 

I played hooky from work and baked today. Actually, its a federal holiday which means my bosses all have the day off, but us lowly assistants still follow a “12-month” schedule which basically only gives you Christmas Eve, Christmas and Thanksgiving off (ok, and a few others).

LB did not enjoy the labor-intensive apple slicing, but REALLY LOVED watching me roll pie crust. I didn’t realize that she was simultaneously eating brown sugar right out of the bag.

I come from a long tradition of horrible cooking (I get it from my dad). He attempts to BBQ like all good dads, but the only grill he owns is a rusted-out oil drum propped up between two tree stumps. His philosophy is “blacken and serve.”

I realized that I didn’t own a pie pan, so I went to Wal-Mart and bought one of those pre-made graham cracker crusts because they come in a pan of their own. I figured I would just made a homemade “top” for the apple pie and use the pre-made crust as the bottom. Popped the sucker in for 30 minutes at 350, and came out with the above picture. Obviously the graham cracker crust just about evaporated in my high altitude oven, which is why the bottom of my apple pie looks like soup.

I had leftover apples so I tried an apple crisp (See Right). I think it resembles a desert-dwelling, freckled alligator head.

Hey, everything is a learning experience right?

RIIGGGGHT.

P.S. Another reason Rooferman thought I was a “hack.” He thought the food he ate in prison was better than what I cooked. I guess I’m just not cut out to be a wife, eh?

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11 thoughts on “Apple Soup and Alligator Crisp”

  1. Oh, well, worth trying, right? 🙂 Next time bake the crust a little before putting the filling in, it helos keep it a little firmer. But I can freely dispence cooking advice, as I am an expert. HA! One of my all-time favorite things told me by one of the kids: Me: Oh crap, I burned this again! Him:”That’s okay, mom, I liiiike the taste of burned!”

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  2. It’s not what it looks like…
    … it’s how good it tastes! And I am guessing that anything to do with apples and sugar is gonna be just fine.
    I have a friend bringing me over a bunch of apples today. I am v. worried as I said I’d take them to make apple butter but obviously had a schism in my brain when I said that because apple butter = a lot of work. If it works out I’ll let you know. If not, applesauce at Karma’s house!

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  3. Notice that I haven’t posted any pictures of my cooking. It usually isn’t pretty, but we haven’t starved yet.

    Oh, and I don’t mind you laughing at me. Even I find it weird. I just can’t clap to a beat. Shiloh dances better than I do. But I’m going back to Zumba tomorrow anyway. Why not just make a fool of myself, right?

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  4. How funny!!! I just sat down to check out the blog situation with a slice of the apple pie that T and O made yesterday! I agree with Karma…its all about what it tastes like (this isn’t the county fair lol). I am sure it tastes delicious… and to be honest it actually does look really delicious! The way I look at it, it is a great experience for LB and you… together time…which makes it all the more beautiful, eh? BTW good for taking the day off, if the administration doesn’t have to go in, then why should you? Just out of curiosity did we have Columbus Day off, I don’t remember having it off…we do in CT though… 😉
    Talk to you soon! Love you and LB! Miss you!

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  5. You tried and thats all that matters 😉

    I can bake fairly well and made a cake the other day that literally had a hole through the middle? So it happens!

    While I can bake I CAN NOT cook. So my family would have cake and muffins to eat constantly if it was up to me!

    I think we are made that way on purpose – so that when we find our men – we can sit and watch TV while they cook dinner ;-p

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  6. It’s all about how it tastes. I can’t tell you how many misses I ‘ve had trying new recipes. But it was pretty darn tasty even if it didn’t look great. It is a learning experience.

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  7. Much like everything else, cooking is a practice-makes-perfect activity. I’d definitely recommend cooking w/ LB as much as possible while she’s little, I believe it’ll help her later in life, even if it’s just chocolate-chip cookies and box brownies, stuff like that. I LOVE cooking and baking. I’m the birthday cake girl in my circle of friends. Funny thing though, my cakes were always called Frankencakes until recently b/c I couldn’t get the frosting consistency right, or the layers would crumble or break, or (the awesomest of all) I’d drop it or tip it or something and it would, consistently, turn into delicious and ugly cake soup. But recently I’ve been getting them to stay cake shaped–exciting! Remember to just follow the directions, and it’ll turn out okay.

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  8. Hey, there’s only one way to learn and that’s to try making stuff. It looks good to me =) I’m glad you and LB had a fun day off together. Woo hoo!! Love you guys =)

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  9. That does look strikingly similiar to an alligator head, but hey, you said it. I know I couldn’t do any better.

    That’s a huge pet peeve of SD’s. I can’t really cook worth a lick. Although I made something the other day he liked. I should’ve known–the recipe was subtitled something like “Man Food.”

    I have been trying to cook more, mostly for Son’s sake. So he eats more balanced meals. Today I used the wonders of the slow cooker to make the nastiest thing that ever nastied. Gir-oss. SD called it a funky Shepherd’s Pie w/out the delicious crust. I called it the nastiest thing that ever nastied.

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  10. OMG – I remember X telling me what great food they had in the Glendale jail!
    That’s supposed to be one of the benefits of working for the school district – having more holidays. WTF?!? Glad you played hooky!
    And I would’ve happily eaten the “alligator head.”
    As Nat would say, Wal-Fart?!? You get what you pay for!

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