Mercury in Retrograde
The meeting with said attorney was good. I had a lot of questions, which I think he liked, because I managed to steal a whole 40 minutes from his busy schedule, instead of my allotted 15. I don’t think I’ll be able to file for custody until next paycheck, since the fee just recently went up to $212 in Colorado. I’m already broke this month due to the hideously overpriced drop-in daycare center.
The lawyer dude looked me straight in the eye and said “Does your daughter love her father?”
I didn’t know what to say. She’s 2. I think she does. She hasn’t seen him in 39 days, and with this new “shy” phase she’s going through, I’m curious to see if she will run into his arms like she used to. She asks me about him; “Where’s Daddy?” and “Daddy gone?” but she never cries for him. She has been sleeping soundly and her potty training is in the final stages of completion. Everyone I know says she is a happy, intelligent, easy-going, well-adjusted kid, but does that mean she doesn’t love her dad? No. It means she has become used to life without him, and when he suddenly swoops back in to reclaim his title, I’m betting everything is going to change once again.
This is why I’m going to court. Because this is a crime against our child. Right now, I have no authority to tell him he can’t make up the time he missed. When he does finally call again, you can bet your ass he is going to demand more parenting time because “he was in a place where he just couldn’t see her” this last month. What does that mean? Where is this “place”? Does it exist in reality or just in Rooferman La La Land? What dad says that and gets away with it? What does that mean to a 2-year-old?
It doesn’t mean s*** to a single mom, let me tell you.
I had a dream last night that I saw Blondie Girlfriend and she had a huge black eye. Her arms were cut up, her legs were bruised, and she basically looked like she crawled out of collapsed mine shaft. I grabbed her and shook her and said “YOU DON’T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS! WHAT HE IS DOING TO YOU IS WRONG!”
She looked at me and said “Just cause you couldn’t handle it, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.”
Dreams are some cold s***, huh?
In Astrological news, we are in the Shadow period of Mercury in Retrograde. What does that mean? Mercury is the planet that rules communication, business, studies, intellectual thought and travel. When Mercury is in Retrograde, things move in the opposite direction they are supposed to. Cars break, computers crash, cell phones have no service, people are unable to log into their Online class, and general technological and communicative annoyances seems to plague people’s lives.
At least that’s one explanation of why Rooferman has been MIA with disconnected cell phone service for a month now. DEFINITELY no communication there.
The lawyer asked me if we could file as Co-Petitioners, and I just laughed. I’m gonna try to sit in on a court hearing for custody in the next few weeks, so I can see what I’m up against. Hopefully I’ll get to witness a really vindictive couple that will make me realize my life isn’t so bad.
On that note:
Today is September 11th. 7 years ago, I was in Boston. I had just started my Sophomore year of college. I had sat with my dorm-mates during election year while they turned a disgusted, accusing eye on me as the state of Colorado went red for Bush. I was the redneck, financial-aid-receiving, Titanic-loving loser who had infiltrated their pristine film school.
That morning, as I sat in my pajama pants, watching the news in the dining hall, I realized what a different world I was in. Most kids who go to college out of state go through a culture shock. This was more than I was ready for.
In the next 48 hours, the city of Boston went on lock-down. There was a mandatory curfew at our college. I walked through deserted streets, usually clogged with traffic. “Closed” signs were up in business windows everywhere. My roommate panicked and evacuated to her relatives home outside the city. Everyone was afraid terrorists were still somewhere in Boston. The planes that crashed into the World Trade Towers both took off from Logan Airport, so flying out became almost impossible for the next year. Being so close to the fear, confusion and pain was an exhausting, emotional experience that consumed my entire year at Emerson.
At the end of the year I went home to Colorado, and I stayed there. I did eventually return to Boston and finished my degree, but it took a year to get there. I’ve never been to New York, but I felt close to it, watching Boston react to the tragedy. I can’t believe its been 7 years.