I never expected my mother to be one of those cream-puff haired, pie-making, fawing grandmas, especially since “having kids” was taboo talk before I had a college diploma firmly glued to my hand. When I was a kid, I used to sing the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” theme song (Turtle Power!), which my mother promptly changedto “Teenage Mutant Baby Walkers” everytime she saw a teen mom walking down the street.
When I told her I was pregnant, her response was sad and disapointed, but mostly, I could hear fear in her voice, which only scared the sh** out of ME of course! Now, as LB passes her 2nd year of life, I think my mom is finally starting to enjoy being a grandma. I think the joy is beginning to outweigh the fear she has for me a single mom, and for LB.
My mom always says its not me she doesn’t have faith in, its the world. I tell her, yeah the world is broken, the earth is dying, the people are slowing killing each other, but I’m not going to raise my daughter to be afraid. Even if freak weather patterns wash out America’s Heartland, and gas gets so expensive we have to start bartering gallons for loaves of bread, if Colorado faces its most dangerous fire season in a century, its my generation’s job to fix it, not run from it.
People talk about my generation as the self-centered, over-dramatic, desensitized, attention-hungry, multi-tasking, new media/communication focused-generation. We are also the generation that needs to figure out how the population will survive in the future. I say we are going to need all these “flaws” to help us get through the upcoming decades, because we are going to face some damn hard times. Obviously, its happening already.
Why do I think this? Because I look at my mom, and I see her cry almost everyday. I look at my dad, and I see his spirit wilted at the end of his workday. I see their idealistic, hippie world slowly falling into a lost memory, a diminished hope. Their generation was one of big hearted love, social change, and unity. The world we live in today is barely a glimmer of that love, and it hurts my parents.
Maybe I am desensitized. Maybe I need to be desensitized to face the future. Maybe my parents’ generation is neither emotionally, mentally nor physically ready to face the horror of a world that is falling apart. Then again, maybe I’m just being over-dramatic, going off on one of my typical piscean tangents. Maybe I’ve watched “The Day after Tomorrow” one too many times.
All I can say is that until recently, I’ve never prayed. I’ve never been inspired by politics. I’ve never been more determined to make the future world a better place to live. And the reason? Well, you saw her picture up there at the top.