colorado toddler, potty training, single mom


I’ve hit a rut with potty training. Its reached the point where LB likes using the potty, will tell me when she has done it in her diaper, she likes getting stickers every time she uses the potty, and will go pretty much every time I put her on there. She is happy with this progress, and so am I.

However, she still wears diapers, thus making her “accidents” a normal part of her day, and not really a big deal. The potty training regimen that daycare has provided for me, demands a complete ban of diapers all together. They even frown upon training pants (which I just spent $75 on), insisting I should go straight to thin cotton underpants that older kids wear.

Let me just say that they don’t even make cutesy girly panties in 18-24 month size. I had to special order training pants in LB’s size alone.

So last night, I took the plunge and put her in the brand-spanking new training pants. I made a huge deal (like the book tells you to) about having “big girl undies” and how awesome it was. LB liked them, but didn’t really understand that she couldn’t pee in them like a diaper.

I tired making her sit on the potty every 30 minutes, but I had the worst timing, failing to prevent an accident ALL EVENING. The new training pants were soaked, I was frustrated and LB was getting more and more upset as the night went on.

By the time I put he down to bed, she was clingy and whiny. She refused to lay down when I left the room. By 8:30 she was hysterically screaming. I don’t even think she remembered why she was screaming. By 9:00 I could hear her going hoarse.

I sat downstairs, trying to ignore her. I kept running through the comments I received at daycare this week, “She had an emotional day” “She woke up from her nap crying” “She refused to eat breakfast” “She is sooooo sensitive!” and felt like absolute sh**.

I want my daughter to be brave and strong, not whiny and emotional. Am I turning her into a kid with issues already? Is she that kid who makes the adults roll their eyes, and not want to be around? Am I spoiling her? Do I give her too much attention? Is she destined to be one of those “only children” who can’t share her toys or relate to other kids?

In 6 months, LB will be the same age I was when my sister was born, and I wish with all my heart I could give her a sibling. I wish she could have what my sister and I have. Sometimes I wonder if she is lonely, bored or not stimulated enough by living with only me.

Lets just say the “tough mommy” routine failed miserably by 1:30 am, since LB did not sleep more than an hour at at time after that, and I resorted to letting her sleep next to me. At 4:00 am, she no longer wanted to sleep in my bed, so I sat on the couch, holding her in a blanket, and eventually fell asleep sitting up.

Ugh I am spineless.


4 thoughts on “Impass”

  1. Poor you and LB =( Don’t beat yourself up about potty training, she is already a lot further along than most kids her age. And never worry about any adult I know hating her, she is one of the coolest kids I know (look at how my family and all our friends dote on her when you visit and pretty much every other person she comes in contact with is totally charmed by her…she made A. want to have a baby girl =) Anyways, sorry about your tough week, we need to make some more key lime breezes and make ya feel better 😉 Love you lots!!


  2. I am not an early childhood expert by any stretch, but I can tell you that all the evidence points to the fact that kids need security and attention as babies to fully develop into independent, resourceful adults. Babies need to be held and stimulated to feel secure. The preschool’s policy on potty training is more for their ease than it is based on any kind of developmental theory. It sucks that you have to try to make the kiddo fit into their mold. But rest assured that she’s gonna be okay. And so are you.


  3. My mom said that Lilly was the sweetest, nicest, most smiliest baby she’d seen in a LONG time (and this is coming from someone who had her own daycare for a retarded amount of time!). I think that LB is a great kid. You’re doing a great job; I always think of you when I think of single parents and whether there’s any hope for kids coming out of a single-parent household. You definitely give me that hope. Also, maybe she could use a sibling, but don’t worry about what you can’t do. =) Good luck!


  4. The best advice I’ve ever gotten regarding potty training (I have a four year old who hasn’t quite grasped wiping more than one time, and a two year old who refuses all out unless there is some sort of reward attatched) is this: How many adults do you know that aren’t “potty trained?” It will happen. Enjoy this time and don’t worry about what will be.


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