I know I have to let this go. I know I have to get over this. But there is this deep pit of rage inside me that keeps simmering. I’m trying to cool it off, let it sit, and ignore it in any way that I possibly can. I’m hoping that if I keep the “glass half full” outlook, then I’m gonna be ok.
Its bad today. Its making me want to stick pins in my eyes. I remember the last time I was this angry at a person, I wrote in my diary that I wanted to force them to eat an aborted fetus. That’s evil. But that’s how evil I’m feeling.
Maybe I’m not trying as hard as I can. As sick as I feel today, maybe I’m secretly honing this anger, keeping myself warm. Maybe deep down in that pit of rage, I’m hiding, because what if one day that rage is replaced by the inevitable? Fear.