Stinky Bear got a BIIIIGGGG Present last night from my mother. It was one of these. All to herself. No siblings to share it with, and at the age of 18 1/2 months. Can we say spoiled? Nah, just really really lucky.
After single-handedly putting the contraption together, I tried to fit it into the one empty corner of my new apartment. No dice. The thing is bigger than I am.
I think we are finally settling into our place, even if there are still boxes laying around, and I have neither a TV or computer, which means no cable or Internet. I am only HALF a real person, right? I have been abusing my work computer privileges for a good 9 months now, and I think its reasonably harmless. I’m not surfing for porn.
Boo Boo Bear has noticed that there are lots of loud noises in an apartment complex, and we are on the quiet end of the building, right by the staircase. This actually gives us the bonus of side-street parking access, as well as a tiny extra window, where there would have been an adjoining apartment instead. But most of the noise comes from INSIDE the apartment.
Our toilet, for example, has suction force of a black hole. I swear I can hear particles separating mid-flush. This is actually a WELCOME change from the pathetic run of toilets that I’ve had. You know the ones that blow a raspberry at you, gurgle for a second and call it quits, leaving the turd rotating in the bowl. Gross, I know. I used to have to keep a cooking pot of water by the toilet so I could add that extra water power during flushing. Now THAT is white trash.
But not anymore. LB’s eyes go wide when the toilet flushes, and she promptly says to me “Toilet LOUD!”
Our Heater is also at maximum tunnelforce capacity. My To-Do lists regularly get blown off the counter, as well as the coupons I’ve been saving. LB rounds them up, and usually puts them in the garbage, saying “TWASH.”
Other than that, I am relishing everything about my living situation. I only have one question: When I can I add a kitty to 24 hr girl party?