brownie zombie, eating disorders, food, midnight munchies, WANT

I See, I Want, I Eat

I have a problem. Well, a few…but this is a big one: I am a compulsive eater, and mostly when it involves bready things like cake, muffins, sandwiches, donuts or tortillas. I see it, I can’t pass it up.

This is how it plays out in my mind:

Enter me, notice huge pan of brownies sitting on the stove.

Brownies: Hi Hot Mama
Me: (blushing) Hey there..hehehe.
Brownies: Wanna come on over here and have a bite?
Me: No thanks, It’s past 10 and I should be in bed.
Brownies: Aww come on, we’re nice and warm and chocolatey.
Me: I bet you are, but I really should be doing something productive like Carmen Electra’s Stripperobics.
Brownies: Ok fine, but in the morning we’ll still be here and rock hard instead of fresh and yummy.
Me: OMG you’re right.
Brownie: And you you’ll still want one then, and will probably eat one just because its there. Doesn’t matter if we are stale.
Me: Wow, you really do know me. I hate to watch something so scrumptious go to waste.

And then its on. I will devour as much as I can stomach and go to bed feeling absolutely disgusting. But its like I seriously have no control after ground zero. I go into a state of meditation or something like a lucid dreaming. Its bad, and I want it to stop.

My solution so far has to been to completely avoid these craveable items at all costs. However, when I do see them, its like I revert to the Brownie Zombie again. Honestly, I think I really need to “just say no” like they taught us in the D.A.R.E program. Can someone make me a t-shirt that says “just say no to brownies”?

Even if I KNOW they are there, I can’t stop myself. At work people have the audacity to use the intercom to announce the presence of brownies in our building. For the rest of the day I can’t stop thinking about that plate of goodness in the break room. I want to strangle whoever made that stupid announcement, because I can’t even focus on my work.

My friend has invited me to go to weight watchers meetings, but I don’t know if that is going to help me. I think this is a deep rooted psychological issue rooted in my mother’s refusal to let us eat chemically altered goodies in the world.



1 thought on “I See, I Want, I Eat”

  1. Oh boy can I relate =) The only way I can keep from doing what you’re saying is to keep busy and do everything in my power to keep my mind off it (which is easier said than done). I’ve started gardening and scrapbooking to keep from eating more than I should. I’m just like you though, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.


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